Atonement
by TheRedPenofDoom87
Summary: AU Seven years after the war, Katara finds that everyone has something to make up for including herself. To put the past behind her, she grows closer to a chapter in her life she thought she left behind. COMPLETE! Same story by AmberButterly, name changed
1. The Letter

**_Here you guys go, a more polished version of "Atonement"!! In celebration of Zutara WEEK!!_**

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing at alll_**

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Atonement: Chapter 1

"_**The boundaries which divide life from death  
are at best shadowy and vague.  
Who shall say where one ends,  
and the other begins?" **__**Edgar Alan Poe**_

_For a moment, Azula disappeared in the cloud of smoke. It burned and stung at Katara's eyes as she stood there. Her back was rigid beneath her blue linen over shirt; her hands were clenched at her sides, waiting. She could feel the tears leaking out of her eyes, but she blinked them back, willing her vision to clear. It was the last push, the last chance. Summing up the last of her energy, Katara blew out a gentle breath and the cloud cleared._

_Azula stood there, patient as the earth about three hundred yards in front her, her fingers pointed and a frozen deadly smile on her perfect lips. "Tired already?" she whispered softly. She cocked one eyebrow and pointed straight at Katara with two sharp fingertips. The sun was beating down on the both of them; it sparkled off Azula's diadem which she bore proudly in her hair. _

_Katara readied herself for the unnatural crackle in the air, the hair on the back of her neck to rise. With a flick of her wrist, she let the water out of the bottle at her side. There wasn't much she could do to stop Azula, she knew. The princess was too quick, too accurate._

_"Say goodnight, peasant!" Azula hissed. Her face was thrown into sharp relief as the cold fire leapt from her fingers._

_Katara threw her arms up in front of herself but was knocked to the ground from a force that could have been an ostrich-horse. She looked up to see Zuko catching the lightning and reflecting it back at his sister._

_The lighting suddenly vanished and Azula laughed a hard, cold laugh. "Oh, Zuzu…" she snickered. "Since you couldn't finish me yourself, you send this?" she gestured to Katara._

_Katara scrambled up to her feet next to Zuko._

_"Too bad she's pretty," Azula launched herself at the both of them, using the lightning to propel herself forward. "She won't be for long!"_

_With a nod from Zuko, who stood waiting for Azula's onslaught, Katara ran to the left and gathered the water in her palms. She threw it out as a sheet of ice under Azula's feet._

_The princess was going far too fast to stop and wheeled wildly out of control. With an upward flick of her wrist, Katara returned the ice to water and trapped Azula in a large bubble of water._

_"Zuko!" Azula shrieked as her head broke the surface. "Help me!"_

_Zuko stood there, looking from his sister to Katara._

_"I thought you made your choice," Katara hissed, her eyes narrowing at him. The hurt was already starting to well up in her heart. After all, they'd been through! Katara closed her eyes, searching for another ounce of strength. So this was the end, it had finally come for her._

_"I have," he murmured quietly. "I'm sorry."_

_There was a flash of light and a scream, then nothing. _

_Katara opened her eyes to see Zuko beside her, fingers pointed at Azula's limp form. She was floating listlessly in the water. Katara let the bubble fall apart and the princess slithered to the ground. Dead._

_"I thought…" Katara began but couldn't finish._

_"Water conducts electricity," Zuko said in a toneless voice. "There was nothing else I could do."_

_"I'm-"_

_"Come on." He grabbed her hand "We have to help Aang," and began leading her to the palace entrance. As they were forcing the door open, a huge wall of fire met them and they fell back. Zuko tried to shield her from the brunt of the flames and Katara could feel his skin blister under her fingers as they fell into darkness._

Twenty-one year old Katara sat up, drenched in an ice cold sweat. She bought her knees up to the chest and rested her forehead against them, breathing deep and calming herself. "Just a dream," she muttered. "A dream…dream…" It was a chant she used almost every morning. Seven years of nightmares had ground the mantra into her brain.

In a strange elusive hope, Katara flipped her palms over and her spirits fell a little. The jagged black scars were still there. It had really happened. Just where the dream ended was when her hands had been burned. Zuko had blocked most of the flames, but Katara had tried to reach out and pull Zuko out of the way. It didn't work. Most of Zuko's back had been burned, and Katara's hands would never be the same.

At first, she hated them. She hated their ugliness and their blackness and she even fact that Zuko tried to keep her from being burned. But in time, she grew to accept them. Even admire them. Now she bore them as a reminder just how high the price of war really was. It was all too easy to forget.

Katara reached up to fiddle with her necklace, only to remember half a second later that it was no longer there. Somehow, during the fight that day, the ribbon holding it was slashed and Katara could not find it in her heart to put it back on. No rope, ribbon, string, or cord felt worthy enough to bear the pendent. While to her, it represented her mother's last gift to her only daughter, still she felt a little silly as she grieved over the charm. But she reverently kept it in a small ornate gold filigree bordered jewelry box that had once belonged to Fire Lord Iroh's mother.

Zuko's uncle, who had assumed the throne, had found it and smiled saying that he had no use for it and if she was not going to wear the pendant at least it could reside in a very pretty box. Despite herself, Katara took an instant liking to Iroh. She'd been a little apprehensive until Toph had plopped herself before the new Fire Lord and started chatting like old friends.

He was merciful and wise, just and tolerant, but still sharp and not without his wrath. He, hopefully, was teaching this to Zuko, but Katara had doubts about Zuko. She always had and she couldn't shake them. She had virtually no contract in the Fire Nation for the past seven years. Having dedicated her life to healing, she was often called away to other kingdoms to heal the sick; rich and poor. She'd seen Iroh a few years ago, when she was visiting the Earth King. They made pleasant chitchat and told her that she was always welcome. She hadn't taken him up on it.

Katara sighed, tired of feeling sorry for herself, and got up. She bent over to make her bed and ran her fingers through her loose hair. As she passed before the mirror that hung over her dresser, she stopped. Her father, Hakoda, had come to visit last year and sighed at his only daughter. When she asked him why, he'd lifted her chin with two fingers and said with pride that she looked so much like her mother. Katara could not see it now, she barely remembered her mother. There were only brief snatches, the whiff of her mother's hair, the flash of pale blue eyes, and a soft hand in the dark. There was no full face; nothing but faint memories that added up to really nothing at all.

She shook herself and started looking for an outfit. It was a busy day today. She had a class to teach and a few meetings to attend and Aang was going to be there today. She smiled to herself. It had been oh, at least two years since she'd last seen her best friend. Katara missed his carefree nature, his sense of adventure, and whenever she was with him; it was as if they were the only two people in the world. Aang could make her forget all her troubles, if only for a little while.

It was true; Aang was her very best friend and she adored being with him, because when she was with him, she was fourteen again. She could be silly and joke and just be herself with Aang. But, she could never see him in the way he'd wanted her to when they were younger. He was like the younger sibling she never had, and he was as precious to her as Sokka was. She just couldn't love him in the way he loved her all those years ago. She told him so after the defeat of the Fire Lord Ozai, the truth had to come out and yet it still nearly broke her heart when he realized she was telling him that she couldn't be with him.

Maybe it hadn't of been the right time to tell him, but she couldn't go on letting him think that there was still a chance. It wasn't fair to either of them. She almost wished he hated her now, he'd be well justified, but in true Aang fashion, he surprised her by learning to let it go.

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Katara and a few other members of the council were walking toward the Chief Arnook's room, when they saw a great dark shadow drifted over the North Pole. Since the end of the War and Katara had come to live in the North Pole, a great deal had changed. Arnook had personally asked her to be part of his Council, a very honorable and coveted position among the men of the tribe, not to mention of women. It was one of the first times in history when a woman had been asked to be part of the ruling party of the Northern Water Tribe and Katara had accepted without a second thought.

As Katara and her fellow council members got closer to the room it's self, they could hear the sudden shouts of delight as the children saw Appa land not three hundred feet from Katara. Katara always found it funny that she never realized how much she missed him until he was back in her life again. She was smiling to herself as the other members of the council urged Katara to go and greet her old friend.

Suddenly Aang looked up from the throng of children, who barely reached his knees, to see her. "KATARA!" he shouted and ran toward her to engulf her in his arms.

It wasn't that Katara wasn't happy to see him; it was just that he often forgot how big he'd gotten. Seven years had changed the lithe twelve-year-old into a tall, muscular monk who often forgot how strong he was. Like now.

"Aang..."Katara rasped, grabbing his arm and tugging hard. "C-Can't breathe..."

"Oh, sorry..." he released her at once; however, he kept her at arm's length to look at her. His expressive grey eyes took in how much she'd changed. "It's really great to see you again, Katara..."

"It's wonderful to see you too," she stood up on tip-toes to kiss his cheek. "Now tell me what this visit is all about? Pakku and Arnook won't tell me anything."

Aang gave her a surprised look. "Really? I thought they would have by now..."

A shiver raced down Katara's spine. "What's wrong?" She grabbed Aang's arm. "Is someone sick? Sokka? Suki? Toph?"

He shook his head. "No, they're all fine." He gestured to the rest of the Council members. "I'll let Arnook tell you himself."

Katara crossed her arms over her chest. "But-"

"Later, Lady Katara..." Pakku snuck up behind the two of them. The old Master had become even surlier in the past few years; a feat that Katara wasn't even sure was possible until it happened. "Show the Avatar some respect."

"I suppose you've forgotten how hard it is to take _Pupil_ _Aang_ seriously?" Her eyebrows lifted in anticipation of his answer as they filed into the Council Room.

"He's grown up a great deal since then."

"Last time he was here, he 'borrowed' two of your students for the afternoon and took them penguin sledding!" Katara shot back.

"I _was_ the fastest," Aang put in proudly.

"You are not helping your case, _Pupil Aang_!" Pakku stage-whispered.

Their argument, however, was interrupted as someone called: "Order! This Council will come to order!" The table fell quiet and Chief Arnook stood at the head. "First, I would like to extend a fond and sincere welcome to our friend, Avatar Aang."

There was a smattering of polite applause as Aang stood and bowed deeply to Arnock and the Council, he was all business now, surprising Katara again and again. "Thank you all," he replied.

Arnock smiled. "Well, that was the easy part..." Suddenly his smile was replaced by a look Katara could only describe as a faint grimace. "I received a letter the other day from Prince Zuko..." There was a little muttering from the Council members, most still remembered the attack on the North Pole seven years ago and they were not at all pleased. "He told me that his uncle, Fire Lord Iroh, has been ill for several weeks and is wondering if we might spare Lady Katara for a little while."

Nine expectant faces turned to Katara.

"He insisted that you would make the call, Katara. He didn't want to force you into something you didn't want to do."

"Preposterous!" An older member muttered. "It's not natural! A Fire Prince asking help from a water bender..." he hissed in disgust. "There's an ulterior motive, always is with these hotheads!"

"It's a step in the right direction for him," Someone else called. "He will inherit his Uncle's throne someday; it would behoove us to extend some goodwill toward him, just in case."

"Yes, yes, let's throw one of our most promising healers to the dragons so that maybe he won't destroy us all when he decides to finish his great- grandfather's work!"

"He's changed!" Someone challenged.

"And badger-moles fly!"

"If I wasn't an old man, I'd-"

Arnock cut them all off with a wave of his hand. "Katara, this choice is ultimately up to you."

"What's wrong with Iroh?" She asked automatically, while her mind whirled about wildly.

Arnock gestured to Aang. Aang sighed sadly. "I was just there. Iroh doesn't look so good. He's gotten really thin, too thin. The healers are getting worried." Aang put a hand on Katara's shoulder. "He needs you."

The Council Room had gone dead silent as Katara thought. Aang's words echoed in her ears: _"He needs you...he needs you...needs you..._. And she remembered something she once said to Sokka, many years ago; _"I will never turn my back on people who need me!"_ She looked up at Aang, he knew before she did. "I'll go," Katara whispered. "When do I leave?"

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**_yeah, last time i uploaded, Fanfiction ate my line breaks!! DAMN INTERNET!! _**


	2. Seven Years

**_So, here's chapter 2, with fun new things and i've taken care of the line breaks and spelling errors!!_**

**_Disclaimer: Nick owns all the characters...DAMN them, it means they own Zuko...frack..._**

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Atonement: Chapter 2

"_**Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road  
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go  
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why  
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time" Green Day, "Time of your life"**_

Katara was tossing a lighter linen dress into her huge leather-traveling bag when she suddenly stopped and put her hands on her hips. She paused a moment and chewed her lower lip in concentration, her brows knit together. "Why am I doing this?" She called to Aang, who was doing who knows what in her living room.

"Because you want to help," he called back.

"But why?" Katara strode into her living room, arms crossed over her chest. "I can be around Iroh fine, but Zuko..." she shook her head not even able to finish her sentence.

"He's not a bad guy, Katara." Aang reasoned. "Really, he's changed a lot since then."

"Are you two friends now or something?" She sniped, eyes narrowed. "I mean, I know you two were buddy-buddy during the war-"

"Only after he came to us!" Aang put in. "And even then... it took a while."

"Still! You didn't answer my question."

Aang shrugged, his head cocked to one side. "I guess. He doesn't have many friends at court and his Uncle is really busy...and...I don't know..."

"He has his mother."

"Katara, what twenty-three year old would want to spend all his extra time with his mother?" Aang challenged.

Katara grimaced. "True. I'll give him that one. But..."

Aang put a friendly bracing hand on her shoulder. "It won't be forever, a few weeks at the most. And I'll be there for a little while."

Katara sighed; she knew that he knew full well that she was never in any danger of going back on her word and she hated it. "I guess. Will Toph come too?"

Aang scratched the back of his neck uncomfortably. Katara tapped her foot impatiently. "Out with it!"

"Toph doesn't know. No one knows yet..." there was a sad look in Aang's huge grey eyes. "The Fire Nation is still fragile and the last thing they need right now is their ruler to show some sign of weakness. Iroh still has a lot of things to put right and there are some nobles who are not co-operating."

"What do you mean?" Katara was looking through her herb supply as Aang explained.

"Its not outright rebellion, but there are some nobles who thought Ozai was going about things in the right way..."

Katara cocked her head to one side in confusion. "So, they prefer the crazy guy to Iroh?"

"They thought they were superior then and it doesn't help that Zuko is still seen as a traitor."

"So, I'll be going as...what exactly?"

Aang ran his hand over his bald head and down the arrow on his skull. "See, it's like this...people see you and they see all the good you do with your healing...maybe if you went to the Fire Nation as a guest, it would seem like Iroh was doing things you approve of."

"When did you get so political?"

Again, he shrugged. "I'm the Avatar; I have to know what's going on in the world."

"See, this is why I love being a Healer, no one cares what my political aspirations are. People are sick, I heal them. End of story."

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_"You're angry," She heard Zuko's quiet voice whisper through all the shouts and sounds of the party around them. For a moment, they were the only two in the whole room. She looked up to see him dressed in formal blood red, gold and black, his birthright. An easy smile graced his face. She hated it "Why are you angry?"_

_"You have all you want now..." She said quietly. "Who's to say you won't go back on your word...?"_

_A frown marred his lovely features. "What are you talking about?" he grabbed her wrists so she couldn't escape, his golden gaze met hers. "Katara, I would never, ever..."_

_"I saw how you hesitated...you almost let her go..."_

_"What was I supposed to do?" he hissed. "She was my sister...I killed my own sister in cold blood...I will have her blood on my hands forever. What more do you want from me? Do you trust me so little after everything?"_

_Katara bit down on her lip, holding back all the things she couldn't say, things she wouldn't say..._

_"You've never forgiven me for that, have you?" He stepped back. "You've held onto that all this time..."_

_"This is supposed to be a happy day," She insisted. "Your Uncle is the new Fire Lord, your mother is back in your life, and you are the Prince you've always wanted to be...you have all you've ever wanted."_

_"I've never given you any reason to doubt me!"_

_"Until a week ago, when you hesitated."_

_"Would you have killed your brother if the situation warranted it? Would you have hesitated?"_

_Katara pulled herself from Zuko's hot grasp, her eyes as icy as the place she hailed from. Here she thought, he'd finally come back to the light, that he'd finally cast off the darkness. She was wrong._

_"Of course you wouldn't have. You're perfect..." He gave her one final look that conveyed so much confusion still that Katara almost started after him. Instantly, the weight of the guilt pulsed through her veins like poison. She wanted so much to pull him back from the darkness, help him sort out his confusion, but that was the healer part of her. But the bender half still bristled with anger over his hesitation. Her pride won out and she stayed put._

"We'll be landing in a few minutes!" Aang called to Katara as Appa dipped below the clouds that hovered over the glittering sea.

For some odd reason that last conversation she had with Zuko was replaying itself in her mind. Ever since she had gotten on Appa two days before, it was all she could think about. She saw the hurt blossom on his face and spread through his body, making him stiff and closed off. She'd done that, she'd hurt someone intentionally...it was the healer's creed; _First do no harm..._She'd hurt plenty of people, but this was different. She'd never hurt someone like she had hurt Zuko.

Peeking over Appa's side, Katara could see the ground rushing up to meet them. She hadn't been to the capital since it lay in ruins after the defeat of Ozai. As Appa descended, Katara saw he was aiming for a landing deck, perfect for a very large flying bison. When Appa had landed and his passengers disembarked, he padded away to what looked like a large barn, again the perfect size for a bison.

Now, all the burns had been built over, the land no longer had deep wounds as it once did. It had healed itself. She wondered if people's hearts could mend so easily, even though she knew that they couldn't. But a lot could happen in seven years. Katara felt the familiar scratchings of guilt over what she'd said to Zuko. Sometimes she really admired her fourteen-year-old self, and sometimes she simply shook her head at herself and wondered why she'd ever opened her mouth in the first place.

"Aang! Katara!" Ursa greeted them as she was followed by a taller figure, but Ursa enveloped Katara in a large hug and she could not see the shadowy figure. "My goodness, look how much you've grown! You've gotten so tall!" Ursa had surprised Katara a great deal when they'd first met all those years ago. She'd been hidden along with the White Lotus Society, and had helped rescue Iroh after he'd been imprisoned. Princess Ursa's warm and friendly disposition was so opposite of Zuko's that Katara often wondered what he would have been like, if Ursa had been around.

"It's good to see you too, Ursa," Katara replied softly.

"Zuko," Ursa called to her son, who was in the process of greeting Aang. "Come and greet your other guest!"

Zuko peeled himself away from Aang and Katara could see how tall he'd grown. He'd grown at least another four to five inches and now towered over her and Ursa. His ebony hair was still rather short and pulled back off his face to reveal his elegant bone structure and harsh scar. His golden eyes took in her appearance with a hint of either apprehension or approval, Katara wasn't sure. He bowed deeply to her. "We are grateful that you could come." He straightened with a sheepish sideways grin. "It's good to see you again, Lady Katara," It was the first time in a long time that she's heard him say her name. She hated him for his voice, how tall he'd gotten, she hated that he'd grown up.

Katara bowed back. "It was the least I could do," she insisted. Katara hated herself as she refused to acknowledge his show of warmth. The saying went; Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me, didn't it? And she wasn't about to be fooled a third time. So instead, she glanced around, looking for Iroh. "Where is Iroh?"

"He's been in meetings all day, he's resting now, but he'll be joining us for dinner," Ursa replied. "Zuko, let's show Katara where she'll be staying. Aang, your room is all ready for you."

Zuko lead the way toward the Palace, followed by Aang, Katara and Ursa. Ursa slipped her arm through Katara's to inquire after her life in the North Pole. Katara was telling her about the lessons she taught until Zuko stopped in front of a door and slid it open.

Instead of the vibrant red and gold of the Fire Nation, the room was decorated in blue and silver. Dark blue sheets lay on the four-poster bed and were surrounded by light silvery blue curtains. A huge woolen rug with the Water Tribe symbol woven into the pattern hung on the wall. To Katara's delight, there in the corner of the room was a bubbling fountain complete with a few fish in it.

"This is amazing..." Katara breathed, fingering the gauzy silver curtains. "Thank you..."

"It was Uncle's idea, really," Zuko replied.

Ursa rolled her eyes at her son. "Come on, Aang," she called. "Let's show you to your room." And they marched out of sight as Katara inspected the room.

"Katara..."

She turned suddenly at the sound of his voice, not aware that he'd stayed behind. Katara wrapped her arm around herself and it was suddenly very cramped in that room, even though her room opened onto a balcony. She was oddly aware of how dirty she was from traveling.

"Can we talk honestly for a moment?" He asked, stepping in.

"I suppose."

"I can't tell you how grateful I am. That you came all this way."

"It's my job..." she stated; her chin set at challenging angle.

"Nevertheless," He didn't meet her eyes. "I wonder if we could start over...?"

"Why?" she narrowed her eyes at him.

Zuko frowned. "I know that we haven't seen eye to eye in the past-"

"I think that's the biggest understatement I ever heard...ever..."

He kept right along without acknowledging her interruption. "And I know that you don't trust me, and I know you only came because Aang asked you to, but...whether you like it or not, we will be around each other a lot and I thought it might be easier if we put our past behind us." Seven years aged people a great deal, she decided as she looked sidelong at her bags. "I see,"

"I suppose you never will forgive me, will you?" He tried an obviously strained smile.

Katara sighed and looked down at her hands. "I-" Why did he have to be so mature? Why couldn't he be petulant and hot-headed and rash just like he used to be? It would make this whole thing much much easier. This new Zuko was hard to ignore.

"I don't want you to try something that you will never be comfortable with…I just want you to think about it."

Katara nodded as he excused himself. He was at the door when she said his name quietly. He turned. "You're not the same person you were seven years ago…you've changed." She admitted softly, hating that she admited it.

"So've you."

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**_so, i made Katara a little angrier...eh...writing angry Katara is fun!!1_**


	3. Moonlight

**_A/N: So here's my newest chappie, plz read and review. i see this story is on a bunch of alerts, but i only have 8 reviews!! i love reviews, they help me figure out what to fix and what to keep._**

**_some random notes:_**

**_1. As previously stated, no ship wars please, if you can't say anything nice about Zutara, then don't say anything at all_**

**_2. i'm turning no profit from this at all, im a poor starving college student. these characters belong to Mike and Bryan at Nick studios_**

**_3. again, i am not above begging for reviews...pleae review for me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!_**

**_4. enjoy!!!!!!_**

**_5. Harliquen, i would have written you back, but you don't have an account...makes me sad...tear

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Atonement Chapter 3:

"_**There is crime here that goes beyond denunciation. There is a sorrow here that weeping cannot symbolize. There is a failure here that topples all our success." The Grapes of Wrath, John Steinbeck.**_

As the sun was falling gracefully from the autumn sky, a girl who looked no older than Katara appeared at her door to announce that dinner was ready. The girl's jet-black hair was pulled back into a serviceable bun and was dressed in the dark red uniform. Her pale cheeks were spattered with a few freckles and they disappeared into dimples as her eyes widened as Katara stepped out into the fading sunlight. "What?" Katara asked the girl, to whom she'd taken an instant liking.

"You look like a fairy tale, my lady…," the girl whispered, cocking her head as she took in the full effect of the dark purple under-robe, which lay sweetly under the sapphire silk robe and sage green obi embroidered with golden coy fish.

Katara grinned. "What is your name?"

"Hoshi, my lady. I'm here to serve you as long as you are here," she took another appraising look at Katara. "Prince Zuko won't be able to take his eyes off you."

"Somehow I doubt that," Katara crossed her arms over herself, feeling the azure silk beneath her fingers. It had been a gift this year for her birthday from the Bei-Fong family. Toph had picked out the silk herself. "It ripples like water," She'd dictated in the note that came with the dress. "My mother tells me it's as blue as your eyes, not that means much to me, but she said you would look good in it. I suppose I have to trust her sometimes..."

Katara had smiled at her friend's note. From Aang had told her, Toph had been welcomed home like a real hero and was currently teaching earth-bending at the Earth King's Court, not to mention scaring suitors away by the dozens. Maybe after she'd healed Iroh, she'd go and visit Toph...it had been too long.

"My lady...?" Hoshi waved her hand in front of Katara's face. "My lady, are you all right?"

"Yes... sorry, I was just thinking about a friend...that's all."

The girl rolled her eyes. "Are all Water-benders so...loopy?"

"What I want to know is how you Fire-benders deal with this heat," Katara ran her arm over her forehead. "I mean, it's like a sauna here."

Hoshi grinned. "I think we're going to be friends, my lady... come on, everyone's waiting." She led Katara out into the sunset that turned a fierce orange glow onto the whole world. They twisted along corridors and down stairs until Hoshi slipped open a door revealing a small dining room.

"There you are, Katara," Ursa greeted her as she sat. "We thoughts you'd gotten lost."

"Oh, no, Hoshi showed me where to go…" Katara trailed off as she looked down the table and realized that Iroh was sitting across from her. She could hardly recognize him. He was not deathly skinny, but there was nothing healthy about the purple shadows beneath his eyes, nor the way his cheekbones poked sharply through his skin. "Lady Katara," he greeted her, his rumbling voice still the same. "What an honor it is to have you in my home. I have heard so many wonderful things about you lately, but nothing of your beauty. Nephew," Iroh nudged Zuko with a sharp elbow. "You did not remind me how beautiful Lady Katara is."

"I didn't know," Zuko said quietly, looking at his teacup.

"Enough, Iroh!" Ursa scolded with a smile "Really, here I thought you were a mature adult, and you're embarrassing the poor thing!"

"I would never do such a thing!" Iroh insisted. "I was merely stating a fact and hoping that my nephew realized it as well, that's all." He flashed a knowing grin at Zuko who looked from Ursa to Iroh, unable to decide who was worse. Katara couldn't help but smile.

The rest of the meal continued with the same ease and banter and Katara found that she was actually having fun. Something about seeing everyone relax in this intimate setting filled her with a sense of familiarity or compassion or maybe it was a mix of both. Aang joked with Iroh and Zuko as if he'd done so all his life. He spun plates on his fingers and everyone laughed when he failed miserably.

But what struck Katara the most was that she had never seen Zuko so relaxed, she'd always known him to be so intense, and on the brink of anger, but now he sat back with that same sideways grin. He was a completely different person with his mother and uncle and Aang with him. She had been right; he was different than the angry confused boy she'd known seven years ago. Katara had never noticed how much his face changed when he smiled. It was as if his scar disappeared all together.

Katara barely noticed the time passing at all until the plates were cleared away. The clatter of the china made Katara come back to herself as Iroh stood and offered a hand to Katara. "I was wondering if the lovely Lady Katara would join me for some fresh air."

"I would be delighted to," She tucked her hand into the crook of his elbow as was proper in most societies and followed him into his private gardens. Here there was a small grove of cherry trees and a gazebo and a small pond complete with turtle-ducks, who were nestled into a small bush near the water's edge.

"Can I assume you know why you're here?" Iroh asked, suddenly very grave tone entering his voice.

Katara nodded. "You're ill and I want to help."

"I don't believe there is much you can do," Iroh reported quietly looking out over the gardens, which lay illuminated under the three quarters moon.

"What do you mean?"

His amber gaze was so much like Zuko's, it almost made her jump. "My days are counted, my time has come. I know that I am dying."

Katara stared at him. "No...No, you haven't even let me examine you yet. There must be something I can do."

"But…" Katara tried to start but when Iroh looked her straight in the eye, she stopped.

Iroh looked down at for a moment. "Zuko is still young, he is not yet ready to rule. There is still a great deal I must teach him. And I doubt, without your help, that I would make it to the fall. But perhaps...if I could have until spring..."He turned to her. "Can you give me that?"

"I can try."

Iroh patted her hand. "That is all I can ask for."

"Does Zuko know?"

"I have tried to tell him, but perhaps if he heard it from you, it would sound more…real."

Katara sighed. "If you think its best, but I'd really like to take a look first, just to be sure."

Katara could hear Zuko, Ursa and Aang's nervous whispers from the adjacent room. But Katara tuned them out as she pulled the water from a pitcher Hoshi was kind enough to bring her. "Just relax," she murmured to Iroh.

She ran her hands down the back of his neck and his spine. At first she felt nothing, but suddenly the lower she got, the more tension and the more bad energy she felt. Katara held back a gasp as she felt his blood pulsing beneath his skin, but it was wrong…all wrong…. the blood was turning on itself, attacking itself and other organs. The sickness was sucking life out of Iroh's very veins, his own body rebelling against him. She let her hands fall and the water returned to the bucket.

"I've heard about this…" she told Iroh.

"Is there anything that can be done?"

Katara shook her head. "I can fend it off for a while, but nothing I can do will stop it. I can do a healing session now and at the full moon in about a week or so, when my bending will be at its peak."

"Perhaps it would best to tell Ursa and Zuko before you started." Iroh shrugged on an over-robe and went to open the door.

Zuko was first into the room. "Well?"

"I-I think its best if you sit," Katara took a step back as Ursa and Aang followed him in. When all had been seated, Katara wrung her hands together. "I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it seems that Iroh is ill from a disease of the blood. There isn't much I can do, but make him comfortable…I'm sorry."

Ursa's hand crept up and covered her mouth. Tears welled up in her hazel eyes, but she blinked them back. She swallowed hard and stood. She glanced around the room. "If you'll excuse me, I just need a minute…" She quickly left the room without another word.

Katara avoided making any kind of eye-contact with Zuko. She knew that his would be the hardest face to take.

"So there's nothing you can do…?" Zuko asked quietly.

Katara shook her head sadly. "I can try to keep it at bay, but I can't get rid of it."

"Where does it come from?"

Katara shrugged. "No one really knows. Some Healers say it comes from your family, other say it's a curse on those who've done terrible things…I don't believe the latter, but…" She trailed off as her gaze met Zuko's and she felt as though he was pulling at her heart, trying to tear it out of her chest. "I'm sorry," she said again.

Zuko clasped his hands together and pressed them to his chin in thought. "Are you sure…?" he stole a glance up at her.

Katara swallowed hard, she had a feeling that this would come up eventually. She looked at Aang and he gazed back understandingly. "There might be something that would be more effective than healing sessions or special herbs."

"Anything….please," Katara had never heard that note of desperation in Zuko's voice before and it made her mind whirl faster.

"I can bend blood," she admitted quietly to Zuko and Iroh's shocked faces. "I can bend the water in people's blood."

"I heard of someone doing that…Hanna or something or other, but I thought it was just a story," Iroh regained his wits quicker than Zuko.

"Hama forced me to learn," the floor beneath her feet blurred suddenly. "She nearly killed Sokka and Aang…if-if I hadn't stopped her."

"And you can do this to help my Uncle?" Zuko asked.

"I can try on the next full moon. Blood-bending was not intended to heal, only to control, but I can try to figure something out…if you'd be willing to try."

Three expectant faces turned to Iroh who stroked his chin. "I suppose, if it will make me feel better." He suddenly looked very tired, his skin a little sallow in the candlelight. Zuko stood and placed a hand on his uncle's shoulder, as if trying to infuse him with some strength.

"Perhaps its time we all went to bed," Katara suggested softly. "Sleep is the body's best healer."

Iroh looked up at her and clasped her hand; he smiled a little and stood. "I'll take your advice, Lady Katara. Goodnight, Aang, Nephew." He turned and vanished down the hall.

"Come on, Aang," Katara reached for Aang's arm, even though she wanted to reach out for Zuko too.

Aang stood next to Zuko for a moment, who was watching the darkened hallway. "It'll be okay," Aang said quietly to Zuko and then took Katara's hand to follow her back toward her room.

That night, Katara sat on her balcony in the light of the moon. Her bare feet poked out from under the hem of her light linen sleeping robe as she sat soaking up the moonlight like a sun bather would the sun. She tilted her face up and let the moon's comforting rays fill her with the reassurance that it always had. It was strange, Katara always marked her life by the moon, and while she changed every month, it remained unchanged.

Then suddenly, she caught movement across the small courtyard that her room looked out on. There was a flash of light, a door opening on the opposite side of the courtyard and Katara sat up to see Zuko stepping quietly out into the night. Taking a seat on the balcony rail, Katara grinned to herself and watched him pace back and for the under the autumn moon. Sometimes, Katara forgot how lovely he really was, with his ebony hair loose around his shoulders and his completely bare chest glimmering in the soft moonlight.

Walking and around and around, he ran his fingers through his hair and she watched his lips move as if he were talking softly to himself. Finally, he sat down next to the pond, looking too exhausted to move anymore.

A soft sweet wind moved through the trees, making them shake a little. A few golden leaves fell to the ground around Zuko. He put his hands behind his head and leaned back, trying to get a better look at the moon.

Katara smiled to herself, even if they weren't next to each other, it was sort of nice to not to be alone.

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**_press that little purple button and make all my dreams come true. _**

**_oh and don't expect chapters to keep on being posted at this speed, i just happen to have a light workload this week, that wont always be the case, but i'll try to keep chapters comming at least once a week_**


	4. Home

_So here's my next intallment, i hope you all enjoy it. There's not much action, but this stuff needs to be said. And i want to thank all my lovely reviewers for all their lovely reviews. some things to think about again..._

_1. no ship wars...if you haven't caught on yet, see previous chapters_

_2.i am making no money and the only character I claim is Hoshi. everyone else belongs to Nick Studios._

_3.Reviews are welcome, creative critisism is adored, but flames will be deleted_

_4. there was some question as to if i would write some of this in Zuko's POV. i did think about it, and i have a plan for the last few chapters...don't you worry. ENJOY!!

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Atonement: Chapter 4

"_**How often I have lain beneath rain on a strange roof, thinking of home," William Faulkner**_

"Are you sure you'll be all right?" Aang asked as he pocketed Katara's list. "Because I can stay longer if need me to."

Katara shook her head. "I'll be fine," she promised him. "We both have a lot of work to do."

Aang was relentless. "Are you sure?"

Katara crossed her arms in front of her. "Aang, I need you to go and get those herbs from the Earth King. Ask for Ume, she's the Earth King's gardener and she can give everything on my list."

Aang looked down at her. "But...what about Toph? I'm going to run into her, and she'll ask and I can't lie to her."

Katara tapped her lower lip in thought. "If you tell her, make her promise not to tell anyone else, just yet."

Aang sighed. "If you're sure."

"I am, now go!" she gestured to Appa who was gazing longingly at the sky. Aang leapt up on the bison's head. "Say hi to Toph for me!" She called as Appa took off. Katara watched them until they were just a spec in the sky.

"Where's he off to now?" Zuko appeared next to her.

"The Earth Kingdom. He's picking some things for me." She turned and took in his appearance; he was dressed in formal robes of red, black and gold. "Busy afternoon?"

He shrugged. "I suppose if you count people yelling across tables all afternoon busy and productive then yes."

She grinned. "How is your Uncle this morning?"

"He still looks tired," Zuko looked side-long at her as they walked toward the palace. "I just wish there was something more I could do for him."

"So do I."

There was a moment of quiet between the two of them before Zuko asked; "So if Aang is going to get you something from the Earth Kingdom, what are you doing until he gets back?"

"Trying to acclimate to this horrendous climate."

"I'm being serious."

"So am I."

He glanced at her and Katara dropped her joking façade. "I have some letters to write, some clothes to fix," she looked up to see a group of important looking people gathered around the Council room. "You should go; it looks like they're waiting for you."

Zuko sighed. "I guess duty calls. I'll see you around then?"

She nodded. "I'll be around."

The days afterward fell into a pattern; Katara would rise at the crack of dawn and would dress in her lightest linen work clothes, taking breakfast with Ursa more often than not. Iroh and Zuko, she found, liked to meditate outside as the sun rose.

Later, during the heat of the day, she and Hoshi would work together on darning clothes, sometimes Ursa would join them, but often she had her own duties to attend to. Today, five days after Aang left, they sat in the relative shade of Katara's room as they worked.

Hoshi was a lively little creature and inquisitive of the world that she'd never seen. "Tell me what the North Pole looks like again."

"I've told you about six times already."

"Come on, my lady...please..."

So, Katara told her again about the tall ice towers, the flowing water-ways, the frisky polar bears and turtle seals. Hoshi sighed with delight as Katara talked about how blue the ocean was and how it was so clear that you see for hundreds and hundreds of feet. "Prince Zuko was there, wasn't he?"

Katara nodded. "Yes, he was."

"During the war?'

Again she nodded.

"Did you know him then?"

"I did. But we weren't as friendly then as we are now."

Hoshi sighed. "I remember when he came home finally, with Princess Azula..." Hoshi shivered. "She and I weren't very friendly either." Katara grinned. "He wasn't very happy."

Katara concentrated very hard on the stitches for a little while and said nothing.

"I'm sorry my lady, did I offend you?" Hoshi asked carefully.

"No... no," Katara assured the girl. "It's just...that I don't like to talk about the old days."

"Oh,"

"Those are days I never want to see again," Katara told the girl, flipping her hands over for the girl to see.

Hoshi's eyes widened. "So it's true, you do have them."

"They're as real as Zuko's scar is."

Hoshi glanced up at Katara. "Do you like him?"

"What?!"

"It's an easy question, my lady," Hoshi said with a smirk. "Not that I can blame you. Scar or no scar, he is very handsome."

"Hoshi; Zuko and I are just friends. Old friends, I suppose."

Hoshi stood. "I have other chores to get to, my lady Katara, but let me ask you this; if you don't like him, why do you never refer to him as 'Prince Zuko'?" Hoshi gave her a swift smile and disappeared out the door leaving a very confused Katara behind her.

Katara put the clothes away in their respective drawers and felt drawn to her desk where a letter she had tried to start, lay there waiting.

Suki had written only a few days ago and her letter lay on Katara's bed side table. She'd read it maybe about a thousand times and could not formulate a response. She sat in bed every night reading it over and over...still...

_Dear Katara,_ Suki wrote.

_We've gotten word that you're on the move again. Arnook wrote to your dad and needless to say he and Sokka are both concerned. So am I. _

_But Yunna has been yanking on my skirt for half an hour to tell you 'hello!' Your niece has grown a great deal in the past few years. She turned four this year and between you and me, some peculiar things have been happening. Whenever Yunna laughs, the entire igloo shakes, some of the snow turns to water...t think she might be a water bender. I haven't told Sokka yet, what with the new baby coming soon, and you going off to the Fire Nation, I don't want to add to his worries._

_Speaking of Sokka, he's been roaring for a week straight about coming up there and dragging you home! What are you doing there, Katara? Your father and Sokka are worried out of their minds, you're worrying me, little sister! This isn't like you, you're always so careful, so strong, so sure...sometimes I wonder who you've turned into over the past few years...Please write me back soon._

_All my love, little sister,_

_Suki_

So, Katara sat down at the desk and taking out a pot of dark blue ink, she tried to start, but her hand wouldn't obey. Memories that she would rather not walk down again took over.

"_Katara, I know you're upset, but running away isn't the answer," her father's voice echoed in the igloo._

"_It's what you did!" Katara snapped back as she threw her thick parka into her bag. "You ran after Mom died."_

"_Katara, its not the-"_

"_Don't you dare say it!" Katara hissed. "I'm not a little girl anymore, Dad! I'm eighteen! I'm old enough to make my own choices!" She turned back to him, the anger giving her voice more bite than usual. "I was old enough to make my own choices at fourteen!"_

_Sokka burst in then, with Suki and his young daughter Yunna trailing after him. "Sokka…wait-" Suki called after her husband._

"_Aang said he's here to pick you up...what is he talking about?"Sokka ignored his wife and roared at his younger sister._

"_I'm taking Arnook's offer," Katara stated calmly. "I'm going to the North Pole."_

"_No, you're not!"_

"_Yes, I am!"_

"_No!"_

"_Yes."_

"_No, you're not!"_

"_Yes, I am!" Katara hissed. "You're not Dad and you're not Gran-Gran! You can't tell me what to do!"_

_Sokka stepped in front of his sister. "I'm telling you, you're not!"_

"_In case you haven't realized it, you're not Chief Sokka yet!"_

"_Dad!" Sokka turned to his father. "Some back up, please?"_

_Hakoda shook his head. "Katara has already made up her mind. She'll do what she wants to."_

"_I'm going to the North Pole, end of story!" Katara snapped and turned to stomp out of the igloo, leaving her family in a stunned wake._

"_Katara! Katara wait!" Suki followed her, holding Yuuna close. Katara turned and dropped her bag._

"_What? Are you going to try and stop me too?" Katara spat._

"_Katara," Suki switched Yunna from one arm to the other. "I know this hurts...and Sokka and your Dad love you, you know that. I love you...Yunna loves you..." She hoisted the girl up on her hip. "We all love you and we-"_

"_Don't say it, please Suki. I can't stay here, I need to go, get out of here for a while." Katara sighed and leaned over to kiss her niece's forehead. "Take care of them for me, please?"_

_Suki nodded. "I will, little sister. But write often?"_

"_I promise." She picked up her bag and continued on her way._

"_Come home soon!" Suki called as she and Aang took flight._

Those words echoed in Katara's mind. _Come home soon..._She took a deep breath..._ Come home soon...home soon...soon..._

"Katara..."

_...soon..._

"_Katara?"_

"Katara?"

_Come home soon_

"Katara!"

Someone was tapping her shoulder and she came back to herself. She looked up to see Iroh, Ursa and Zuko's worried faces studying hers. "Are you all right, dear?" Ursa asked her.

"Fine..." She took another deep breath. "I think I just need some air." She got up from the table and found her way to the gardens. The nearly full moon almost glared down at her, like it knew her shame, her guilt. Katara leaned against the rail and took more steadying deep breaths.

The tears tried to come, but she held them in check. She couldn't lose it, not here, not now. _Control_, she chanted in her head. Control.

Suddenly she heard footsteps behind her and she turned quickly. Zuko stood there, a concerned look on his face.

"Are you sure you're all right?"

"I'm fine..." She didn't meet his eyes.

"Liar." But he smiled.

She leaned back against the rail, arms crossed over her chest, looking out over the gardens. She said nothing at all.

"We're friends now, aren't we?" he asked.

"I suppose."

"Then tell me. Friends tell."

"...I miss my family..." she admitted quietly.

"Why don't you go visit? Or invite them?"

She shook her head. "He won't want to see me..."

"Who won't?"

"Sokka...he hates me. He didn't want me to go to the North Pole, and I went anyway."

Zuko pulled himself up to sit on the rail. "Somehow I sense there's a story in there somewhere."

"I don't want to talk about it," She turned her face away.

"What are you running from? You didn't kill anybody, did you?"

That elicited a small laugh from Katara and she turned back around. "No...I didn't kill anyone." She knew that the real reason for her flight would eventually be uncovered. But maybe now was not the best time to tell. She looked up at him. "But I'll tell you, eventually." she promised.

Zuko crossed his arms over his chest, a suspicious look in his eyes. He tapped his chin with one finger and finally gave in. "Soon?"

Katara nodded. "Soon."

Later that night as Katara sat on her balcony soaking up the moonlight, as was her schedule now. She wasn't sure of Zuko was aware that they shared the same night-time activities, but it was nice as she discovered on that first night, to not be alone.

And as she sat there, she pulled out a piece of parchment with her pen poised above it, not a drop of ink threatening to drop.

_Dear Suki,_ she began...

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	5. Return

**_HEY THERE!!!!!!!!! i come bearing a new chapter!!!!!!!!!! i'm sure a bunch of you are going SQUEEEEEEEEEEE over the last chapter...just you wait, they'll be a few other things you'll be screaming in the next chapter, which probably won't come out until this weekend or possibly next week. I am a full time college student and i do work...so...yeah. anywho_**

**_1. no ship wars, as requested before._**

**_2. All of the chacaters belong to Nick Studios...except my few minor OCs._**

**_3.review...i love them...i see that this story is on a bunch of story alert lists, but very few of those people leave a review...yeah, you guys in the back, i wanna hear what you have to say!!!!!!!!!_**

**_4. thanks to my lovely annymous reviewrs too!!!!!!!! you guys are great to come back and check on me!!!!!

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Atonement: Chapter 5:

"_**If this is a blessing, it is certainly very well disguised." Winston Churchill**_

The full moon beat down on Katara through the open door. She felt is pulsing through her veins, making her almost giddy with power as she ran her fingers down Iroh's spine. The blood beneath the frail skin obeyed her every thought, her every finger twitch. Again, she could barely contain her sense of power as she sought out the evil blood and gathered it together. There was so much evil blood, but she could only take so much without making him worse. He still needed the blood, good or bad, to run through his veins.

"This might sting," she warned him as she lifted the small blade along his spine under which she'd gathered the blood. Katara heard him hiss as the blade slid down and split open the skin. Using one hand to hold back the excess blood, Katara used the other to pull out the gathered bad blood and let it flow into a shallow waiting bowl.

She used her now free hand, which was engulfed in a pitcher of clean water to close the small incision. She heard Iroh sigh as the healing water moved across his back and down his spine.

Katara lifted his robe back over his shoulders and sat in front of him. "How do you feel?"

Iroh smiled and much to Katara's delight, his face flushed with health. "Better, actually. Better than I have in a very long time."

Katara motioned for Hoshi to come in. The girl bore a tray with a tea pot and two tea cups. She set down the tray and took away the shallow bowl with Iroh's tainted blood and Katara's healing water. Katara bowed to the girl who then disappeared back into the hall.

Katara poured the tea for him. Lifting it to his lips, Iroh took a sip and nodded. "Very good, very good. What's in it?"

"A little of this, a little of that." Katara grinned and poured a cup for herself. "I sent Aang to the Earth Kingdom to pick up a special blend, I'm glad you like it."

"Healthful and tasty." He and Katara toasted. After he'd taken another sip, he set down his tea cup and tapped his finger to his chin. "It seems that you and my nephew have put your past behind you..."

"We decided it was the adult thing to do, especially if we were going to be around each other so much. It would just be easier." She admitted. "Besides, we both have a lot to make up for."

"You, my dear? What would you have to make up for?"

Katara poured them both another cup and let her finger tail over the edge of the pot, it burned a little and she welcomed the feeling. "People tell me that I have done so much good for the world, healing the sick, creating alliances, spreading peace...but somehow I can't seem to save the ones I love..."

"Go on," Iroh urged her.

"My Gran died three years ago...I was in Ba Sing Se...I didn't even know she was sick."

"You feel responsible for her death," Iroh said calmly. "You have taken on a great deal of responsibility for one so young."

"I could have done something," Katara's brow furrowed as she tried to hold back the tears. "And now..." She broke off and shook her head.

"You cannot save me either, Katara." Iroh reminded her. "You cannot stop this."

"But if I try, maybe it'll make up for Gran," Katara chanced a glance up into Iroh's wise gaze.

"Sometimes," Iroh sighed. "One can be so giving and caring that one tries to fix the world, even if it is not within one's reach. You, Katara, are as giving as they come, but you cannot fix the world."

"I know," She said quietly.

"Often, people like you are like stones thrown into a pond, you create ripples that spread out until the bank of the pond itself is touched."

Katara looked curiously up at him for a moment. "What are you talking about?"

Iroh sipped for a moment. "My nephew."

"How so?"

"After Azula took Ba Sing Se, Zuko was different. I know that he turned on you and allowed Azula to nearly kill the Avatar, but he told me, many years later, that you offered to heal his scar..."

_Katara held up the little vial that she had kept hidden under her dress. _"_This is water from the Spirit Oasis at the North Pole. It has special properties, so I have been saving it for something important_."_ She looked curiously at it, then at Zuko. "_I_ don't know if it would work, but…"_

_She expected him to shove him away but instead Zuko bowed his head and closed his eyes as Katara placed a gentle hand on his cheek, her fingertips brushing the edge of the scar. They were so close; Katara could feel his breath against her hand. And for a moment, just one short, sweet moment, it was as if they were the only two people in the world._

"You, the little water bender, who protected the Avatar so fiercely, offered freely to help him, your enemy with nothing in return. He was changed after you showed him such general kindness in a world that often laughs at it."

There was a brief silence, in which they both finished their tea. Katara tapped her upper lip for a moment before setting it down and looking up at Iroh. "Toph was right, you know."

"About what?"

"You give great advice." She started gathering up the tray and teapot, when Iroh stopped her. She sat back down. "What is it?"

"I have a preposition for you, if you're willing to take it."

"What does it entail?"

"There is a village about five or six miles from here, an hour or so on ostrich-horseback, that has reported a strange illness. Perhaps you could go and do some good for my people?"

Katara nodded. "I'd love to, but I've never been on an ostrich-horse, and I don't know where this village is."

"Don't worry, Zuko said he'd be more than willing to go with you."

It took a little while for Katara to get used to the odd swinging gait of her mount. Zuko, however, hid his laughter behind his hand as Katara tumbled to the ground for the third time.

"You. Say. Nothing." She growled as they set off.

"I have to admit," he grinned at her. "It's fun to see you not so good at something for a change."

"Why are _you _so good at it?" She asked as she tightened her grip on the reins.

"When Uncle and I were in the Earth Kingdom, we had one and I sort of grew to like him." His ostrich-horse squawked as Katara's bumped into him. "Sorry!" She yelped.

Zuko smiled and reached over to steady Katara's ostrich-horse. "We bought a few from the Earth King, but I don't get to ride as much as I used to."

"But they smell!" Katara objected.

He shrugged. "I don't even notice anymore."

"You're crazy..." Katara muttered.

"So I've been told."

They made the ride in a little more than an hour from the Palace. Really, it had only been about forty-five minutes of riding. There had been a brief fifteen minutes where Katara had accidently steered hers into a ditch and Zuko had to coax the sullen animal out again.

When they finally got to the village, they dismounted and Katara stumbled as her foot got caught in the stirrup. She braced herself for the slam of the ground against her shoulder, but it didn't come. Instead, she felt someone's arms around her. Katara glanced up to see Zuko smiling down at her.

"Again, you will say nothing." She warned him, pointing up with one threatening finger. He helped her back into a standing position, but she wasn't ready for the sudden feeling of absolute weariness to wash over her and she grabbed his arm before she toppled to the ground again. While she waited for the dead leaden feeling in her thighs to pass, she looked up at him, "How do you do this?" She asked.

"It's not so bad when you get used to it." He assured her and took a testing step away from her. When she didn't immediately fall over, they were led to Headman Tiro's office.

Headman Tiro greeted them both with deep bows, "My Prince Zuko," he greeted Zuko. "My Lady Katara," he smiled to Katara. When the greetings and small talk had been accomplished, he led them to where the sick were being held.

"It seems to be a sort of Summer Fever," Katara observed to Zuko and Tiro, naming a common illness that was not particularly life threatening, but this strain seemed to worse. It had settled deep in its victim's chests, making it hard for them to breathe.

"But it's fall..." Zuko said.

"Sometimes sickness' change," Katara shrugged and pressed one hand to a young woman's head. "There are variations, subtle changes in the sickness." Pulling from a bucket of clean water, Katara cooled the fever and cleared the woman's airways. The woman's eyes fluttered open, a thankful smile on her face and then she fell back into a deep natural sleep.

Katara moved from bed to bed, house to house with Zuko and Tiro in her shadow. At first it was a little awkward, but soon Zuko and Tiro were talking about everything under the sun; the reconstruction of the Palace, the rise and fall of the taxes, Iroh's current policies regarding the Earth King, with the North and South Pole. When she'd finished, Katara prescribed a certain blend of easily obtainable herbs for those who'd just been healed and assured Trio to write to her if she was needed.

She and Zuko returned to their ostrich-horses just as the sun was disappearing behind a few clouds. There was a sudden crash of thunder and Zuko looked up. "I hate the rain." He growled. And then the sky opened up and poured down on the both of them. Katara motioned for him to come closer. Taking one look at his wet, miserable face, she let out a little giggle.

"What?" He was sullen now.

She lifted one arm and made a sweeping motion with her hand and the rain around them ceased.

"You're an umbrella as well as a healer, how useful." He observed.

"So how are we going to get home?"

"I have an idea," Zuko grabbed the reins of Katara's ostrich-horse and tied them to the saddle of his. He got on and held out a hand to her. "We'll ride double. Neither of us gets wet and you won't die."

"I appreciate that," She told him as she clambered up next to him and slipped one arm around his waist and kept the other hand up in the air, keeping the rain off the both of them.

So they set off into the swiftly darkening night. When they reached the stable back at the palace, a few grooms rushed out to met them and took the ostrich-horses. Once inside the relative safety of the barn, they found a few towels awaiting them. Before Katara could grab one for herself, Zuko draped one over her shoulders. "Thank you," she said quietly.

"You're arm must be sore after holding it up for half an hour straight," he took a towel for himself.

She tried to shrug, then stopped as a string of fire ripped down her shoulder and arm.

"That bad?" he asked, leaving the towel on his head.

"It'll be better by tomorrow." She winced a little.

"Come there," he motioned for her to close the two feet of distance between them, she did and watched with a puzzled expression as he rubbed his hands together as if trying to warm them up. He reached out and placed one warm hand on her aching shoulder. Instantly, Katara felt the muscles relax and she nearly fell over with relief. "Feel better?"

"Much," she nodded.

There was a small sound behind them, the sweep of a cloak, a footstep. There was the gentle clearing of a throat and then a low soft voice. "Hello, Zuko."

They both turned to see a tall young woman standing there. Her dress was elegant, if a little shabby like she hadn't had the opportunity to keep it as nice as she would have liked. It was blood red trimmed in ebony and gold threads, Fire Nation colors. Her heart shaped face was as pale as the snow at the North Pole beneath her hair which was as black as a winter's night. She had long almond shaped hazel eyes with a small nose and generous lips.

"Mai?" Zuko whispered in either astonishment or delight, Katara couldn't tell. "Mai? Is it really you?"

* * *

uhhhhh oh...the return of Mai...review and make all my dreams come true!!!!!!!!! 


	6. Winter

_A.B here!!!!!!_

_i come bearing a new chapter, i just couldn't keep you all in suspense any longer so here i am at almost one am, slowly eating my way through a box of coco flavored peeps, if you haven't tried them...do it!!!!! here are just a few things to think about:_

_1. no ship-wars please, _

_2. there will be a little Mai bashing for the purpose of this story, dont get me wrong, i think Mai is a cool character, she's all bad ass with her throwing knives and stuff, but she's just wrong for Zuko...sorry..._

_3. i own nothing but the few random characters i throw out there._

_4.Reviews are awsome...please do it, it won't cost you but a second of your time!!!!!!!!!_

Atonement: Chapter 6:

"_**All I wanted to do**_

_**Is fall apart now**_

_**All I wanted to feel**_

_**I wanted to love**_

_**It's all my fault now**_

_**A Tragedy I fear..." OneRepublic**_

Mai smiled a delicate smile; one that had been carefully cultivated over the years. She crossed her arms over her chest. "It is."

"I haven't seen you since-"

"The day Ty Lee and I were banished...seven years ago." She took a step forward and suddenly Katara recognized her as one of Azula's 'friends', the lethal knife thrower. When she made the connection, Katara inched closer to Zuko.

"Where _is_ Ty Lee?" Zuko glanced around as if the girl would pop out; Katara remembered that the crazy circus freak girl had a habit of doing it.

"She's married."

"What?" Zuko rocked back on his heels. "To who?"

"Some earth-bender named Hara or something."

"Haru?!" Katara and Zuko chorused, exchanging similar shocked looks.

"Mai nodded. "She met him when were passing through a town in the Earth Kingdom. Ty Lee stayed, but she said she'd come back for your birthday, that is if you wanted her to."

"Of course I want her to."

"I'll write to her tonight," Suddenly Mai glared at Katara. "Who's this?"

"Oh," Zuko glanced down at Katara. "Right. This is Katara, I'm sure you-"

"The water bender?" Mai hissed, her eyes hardening in anger. "The one who-" She took another few steps forward, brandishing a threatening finger.

"Mai." Zuko stopped her. "It's done."

"But she-"

"No, Mai." There was an edge of steel to his calm voice. "Let it go."

Katara made no move, she thought it best. "I should go," She murmured to Zuko. "I'll leave you two alone to talk." She pulled her towel tighter around herself and tiptoed out of the stable, pausing only at the door to look back and see Zuko and Mai looking at each other, Mai like she'd find something she thought she'd never find again, and Zuko almost in shame. To Katara's great disappointment, Zuko hugged Mai and Katara felt her heart sink a little.

* * *

Katara's mornings took on another task; sparring with Zuko. He'd asked her one morning, saying that Iroh no longer partook and there were few other fire benders willing. So Katara agreed. It had been quite a while since she'd bended against someone with real skill; water or otherwise. 

She rose every morning with the sun and met Zuko out on the practice yards after he'd finished with his morning meditations. At first they grew quite a crowd, onlookers who ogled the Crown Prince and the Healer playfully sparring. But as fall turned to winter, the onlookers and fire benders grew used to the sight. The regulars began to welcome Katara like an old friend.

"Going to destroy his Highness today, milady?" Someone called as Katara braided her hair back on a wintery morning.

"I'm going to try!" She called back as she let the braid fall down the back of her tunic. After a few mornings of bending in all her robes, especially here were they kept the practice courts extra warm, Katara asked Hoshi to create a tunic and matching pants of the same lighter summer fabric that most of the Fire Nation used. Hoshi had happily obliged and even produced the garments in a beautiful dark blue "that match your eyes, my lady!" Hoshi had exclaimed when she presented her hard work.

"We're not even on the courts yet and you're already talking trash," She heard Zuko come up behind her.

Katara stood, hands on hips. "You're the one who's late!" She pointed out.

"Ladies first," he gestured to their usual court.

"Quite the gentleman, this one!" Katara snickered to the few onlookers who chuckled back.

"If you're quite finished, Lady Katara," He shrugged off his tunic and cast a grin at her. "I don't have all day."

Katara pulled the water from the buckets provided for her and flicked one end toward him, snapping him on the hand. "Come on, then!" She snapped challengingly.

Zuko smirked and shot off four consecutive punches, Katara dodged them all, twisting this way and that. At the last moment, he shot off another punch at her. Katara fell to one knee, her other leg stretched out behind her. In a quick even motion, she swung her leg around and brought a huge bubble of water to meet the flame speeding toward her.

"That looks very familiar," Zuko remarked as she caught her outstretched ankle.

Katara hopped once, twice, then kicked her other leg around, spraying Zuko in the face with the water she'd gathered. He let her go and she took a step back into a defensive stance, the water bunched around her shoulders like a shawl. He raised both hands, a huge wall of fire following. He pushed it toward her and Katara unwrapped the water on her shoulders into a protective bubble around herself. The fire hit the water with a loud hissing sound. When the steam cleared, she stepped out.

"So does that," Katara turned the water under her feet to ice. Like the rolling waves of an ocean, Katara rode them toward him. When she was about thirty feet from Zuko, she sank down again, extending the ice straight out toward him. But Zuko only leapt up and flipped over, using his hands to melt the ice under him. When he'd righted himself, she stood on the only island of dry land.

"Somebody's been watching," He commented with his sideways grin.

She shrugged. "A little," Before he could move, she pulled the water straight up and then brought her arms around in a circular motion, trapping him in a slowly freezing ice bubble.

"I thought you'd moved on from his,"

"I can't go back on the classics!"

Zuko raised one hand, held it high over his head and brought it down with a chopping motion and a flash of flame to cut through the ice.

They continued on like this for a long while. It became a dance. When he advanced, she retreated; when she advanced, he retreated. It was a constant flow of energy between the two of them. Nothing else existed beyond the court boundaries; they didn't hear the murmurings of the court, there was no family to disappoint, no death to run from, no prince and no healer, no individual people, simply energy. The only thing that mattered was keeping the balance and somehow it always ended as a stalemate. When they grew tired, they would simply bow to each other and walk off the court.

"So Mai...?" Katara began, one cold winter morning when they'd finished.

"What about her?" Zuko wiped his face on a towel.

"What do you think of her?"  
"Why?"

"Because, she's coming up right now."

Zuko turned to see if she was telling the truth and there was Mai. She glared at Katara, who glared right back. "Take a walk with me?" Mai asked Zuko.

Zuko looked from Mai to Katara, confused or conflicted..."...sure. I'll see you later, Katara?"

Katara nodded. "I'll be around." She assured him and watched as Zuko and Mai walked out of the practice yards, like it had those weeks ago, her heart sank a little more.

"I wouldn't stand for it, my lady." A tall female fire bender , who was a usual spectator, stepped up to Katara.

"Stand for what?" Katara splashed her face with water and then pulled the water away.

"That woman stealing your man way," the woman snarled. "I'd challenge her to Angi Kai without a second thought."

Katara shrugged. "He isn't my man. He was Mai's for a while, though. But who he sees is his own business, not mine."

"Wise words, I suppose." She replied. "Still..."

"Still what?"

"I do believe the Lady Mai is jealous of you."

Katara wiped her face with a clean towel. "Either way, it doesn't matter. I'll not be here forever."

"As you say, my lady." The woman said. "As you say."

* * *

Katara was on her way back to her room, she'd only just finished with Iroh's nightly tea and healing session which were now mandatory in between full moons. At first the blood bending was helping, she more and more healthy blood, but lately, in the past few weeks or so, it had changed, and Iroh could not last a month between healings. It made her so sad, it was a sign...time was against them all. 

Suddenly there was a shape standing in her path, Katara looked up into Mai's gold golden eyes. Remembering her manners, Katara gave her a small bow. "Lady Mai..."

Mai did not bow back. "I don't know who you think you are, peasant," Mai growled. "But you will never be accepted here."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Don't lie. I've seen how you look at him...and don't ask who, you know who. He is bound to serve his people and what would make you think that they would accept you, a peasant water bender from the South Pole?"

Katara met the icy gaze with a matching one. "It is a new world, Mai, since the Avatar defeated Ozai, since you were banished." Katara pulled herself up to her full height, she was the best water bender of the Southern Water Tribe, daughter of Hakoda, sister of Sokka, friend to the Avatar. Who was this spoiled brat to tell her she wasn't good enough?

"Maybe it is out there," Mai gestured to the window. "But here," she shook her head. "You are a water bender, he is a prince. You come from two different worlds and you will forgive him for what he's done to you. Never. Just like he will never forgive how you called him a two faced coward after he killed his own sister to protect you..." Mai crossed her arms over her chest.

Katara bowed again. "Goodnight, Lady Mai." She brushed past Mai and continued on her way to her room, her shame not far behind.

As soon as she reached her room, Katara closed the door behind her and went looking through all her things for the box with her mother's pendant. She found it and sat on the bed, running her fingers over the familiar carvings and wishing so hard that she could talk to her mother.

For the first time since she'd come here, doubt began to gnaw at her stomach. What if what Mai said was true? What if she could never make up for what she'd done? Katara laid down on her side and clutched what little she had left of her mother to her chest and closed her eyes. What if she could never made up for what she'd said to him? What if...what if, now for the first time in a long time, she lost the home she found here? What would she do then?

She thought of Zuko hugging Mai and it filled her with such a horrible twisting, breath stealing despair that she clutched tighter to her mother's final gift, hoping for some comfort that she knew would never come.

* * *

_so yeah... i kind of made Mai a bit of a bitch...but what would you expect? she seems very insecure to me and intimidation seems right up her alley...anywho read and reaview...you know how much i love reviews..._

* * *


	7. Suprise

_A/N: i ran the figures the other night: i.e i laid out the chapter plans for the next eight chapters and have it pretty much figured out where this fic is going to go and how its going to end. I even have a playlist going, which is in chronilogical order of the fic. I'm a dork so what ever!!_

_here it is:_

_1.Someday -Nickleback_

_2.Seasons of- Love (A) Rent_

_3.Apologize -OneRepublic_

_4.From Yesterday- 30 seconds to Mars_

_5.Bring on the Rain- Jo Dee Messina_

_6. Something there- Disney's Beauty and the Beast_

_7.Holding out for a hero -Frou-Frou_

_8. Umbrella -Rhinna (If you can find the one with Chris Brown called "Umbrella/Cinderella remix", its even better)_

_9.I won't say i'm in love -Disney's Hercules_

_10. I'm not that girl -Wicked, the musical_

_11. Stop and Stare- OneRepublic_

_12. Stand in the rain -Superchick_

_13. Breathe( 2am)- Anna Nalick_

_14. Beauty and the Beast waltz -Beauty and the Beast_

_15. If I fell -The Beatles (the version from across the universe works better here, but the original is still awsome)_

_16.Seasons of Love(B)- Rent_

_17. Wold spins madly on -The Weepies_

_18. Twilight and Shadow -Return of the King_

_19. A Modern Myth -30 seconds to Mars_

_20. WIthout you- Rent_

_21. Come Home- OneRepublic_

_22.Only the Beginning of the adventure -Chornicles of Narnia_

_23. Two Worlds -Tarzan_

_ok...now that i'm done with that, now on to the fun stuff..._

_1. i don't own anything,e xcept Hoshi and Mai's bitchiness_

_2. I know it was kind of an issue with some of my faithful lovely reviewers that Mai showed too much emotion, i kind of had to make her break out of the "blah" state, but come on, i'm sure if there was some girl sniffing around Zuko, she'd try to kick their butts! Lord knows i would._

_3.reviewers are welcome and adored!! keep up the praise, i love it!!_

* * *

Atonement Chapter 7:

"_**Stop and stare**_

_**I think I'm moving but I go nowhere**_

_**Yeah I know that everyone gets scared**_

_**But I've become what I can't be, oh" OneRepublic**_

Katara was on her way back from the practice courts with the young woman who had befriended her. Ming, who had been a guard in the prisons until she'd quit a few years ago. Now she was a personal guard for Iroh. Ever on the alert, Ming looked up as a dark shadow passed over them. 

"What in the-"

"Aang!" Katara cried. "Appa!" She waved goodbye to Ming and started for the landing deck. 

"Sugar Queen!" She felt something small and solid slam into her ribcage.

"Toph!" Katara ignored the searing pain in her ribs and wrapped her arms around the slender young woman's shoulders. She back for a moment to look at her friend. Toph had the same half grin, the same milky jade eyes that seemed to smile as well. But her ebony locks were now down around her shoulders, like a flowing river of black silk. "Your hair is so long!"

Toph ran her fingers through her hair as if testing that it was there. "I thought it was time to grow it out."

"You look so grown up!"

"I'd say the same but..." Toph shrugged and Katara hugged her tighter. While she and Toph had not always seen eye to eye (quite literally since Toph was a full head shorter), on most things, Toph had always been her anchor. And recently, she needed an anchor. Everything here seemed surreal and she needed a trip back to reality. If anyone was going to help her with that, it would be Toph. The little earth bender had a gift for telling it like it was, even if Katara sometimes didn't want to hear it. 

"So..." Toph sighed. "How bad is Iroh?"

Katara couldn't find the words.

"Oh..." Toph's normally boisterous voice was soft in her ear. "I see."

"He'll be so happy to see you," Katara assured her. "He's been talking about nothing else for weeks."

Toph grinned. "It'll be nice to see him again."

Katara started to lead Toph toward the palace. "You know he really does give good advice."

"He does, doesn't he?" Toph turned suddenly as she heard Aang crash to the landing deck, buried in all her luggage. "Watch it, Twinkle Toes!"

"I can't believe you still call him that." Katara noted as Aang's response was muffled by the bags. 

"I still call you 'Sugar Queen' and I call Zuko 'Sparky'. That'll never change."

Katara gave Toph's shoulder another affectionate squeeze. "I'm glad." She turned back to Aang, who was handing baggage off to attendants waved him forward to join them.

"I don't see why it matters what I wear," Katara insisted later as Ursa's dressmaker put the finishing touches on the soft burnt orange under robe. 

"Lady Mai won't even hold a candle to you!" Hoshi, who was spending the afternoon helping Katara and Ursa pick out their outfits for Zuko's party, chimed in as she took out Katara's prize blue kimono and helped the dress maker fit it over the soft orange robe.

"Hoshi!" Katara snapped, pleased, however, that Toph was not there; she was spending the afternoon with Iroh and already had an outfit ready, she informed Katara haughtily. Katara had a feeling that the earth bender and Hoshi would get along swiminingly and it would only add to her embarrassment. 

"I was only telling the truth," Hoshi retorted. "Lady Mai is pretty, but in this," the girl shook her head. "My lady, she won't even be able to compete!"

"The sleeves are a little long," Ursa noted and helped the dressmaker take them in. "She is right, you know."

"Ursa!" Katara gasped; shocked that even Zuko's mother had something to say about this. "It isn't a contest!"

"Not in this, it isn't!" Hoshi sang.

Katara glared at the girl. "I am not going to fight over a man! It's undignified!"

The dress maker shook her head. "Never going to get a man that way, with that attitude."

Hoshi and Ursa snickered as Katara grew red in the face from all the teasing. Hoshi pulled out the silver obi and held it up to Ursa. When the obi had been tied in place, Ursa motioned for Katara to turn and see herself in the mirror.

Katara's mouth fell open. If she didn't know that the blue kimono was her's, Katara would have never recognized herself. With her hair pulled back and secured with a lotus bloom comb and her lips accented with just a little color, Katara would have passed for the lady everyone called her. "I...I..." but no words came.

"Wonderful." Ursa complemented the dress maker, "Simply wonderful, as usual. My compliments." The woman bowed and collected her things and left. Ursa turned back to Katara. "Well, my dear, what do you think?"

Katara said nothing. She couldn't. A lump welled up in her throat and she was finding it hard to breathe. Her hand crept up to her neck where her necklace was still absent. Her mother would never see her dressed up like this.

"My lady?" Hoshi crept up next to her. "Are you all right? You look so lovely..."

Katara shook her head. "It's nothing...I just miss my mother that's all. Untie me, please?"

Hoshi obeyed, sending a worried glance to Ursa as she untied Katara's obi and put the blue and orange kimonos away. Katara shrugged her blue everyday robes over her head. "I'm fine," she assured them. "I will be, at least." She crossed her arms over her chest. "So can I assume you've stopped teasing me, then?"

"We've only begun, my lady!" Hoshi assured her.

"Oh, I nearly forgot!" Ursa gasped. "Your brother and sister-in-law will be here the day after next!"

Katara stared at her. "What?"

"You...you didn't know? I thought Zuko would have told you..."

"He knew about this?" 

"Knew? My dear, he wrote to Sokka himself forever ago...Katara...Katara, where are you going?" Ursa called after her as Katara stormed out the room.

Luckily, she ran into Zuko as he was leaving a meeting. With no Mai in sight, Katara wasn't going to wait around for the girl to show up so she grabbed the front of his tunic and dragged him into a less used corridor. She turned around to face him and pointed with a threatening finger. When no words would come, she turned her back to him to gather her thoughts.

"Katara, what's going on?" When he finally asked, his voice was coated in confusion. 

"You had no right..."She hissed. "You wrote to him...after you...I...we..." the thoughts were there, but not coherent. "You knew and still..."

"As illuminating as that was..." Zuko tapped his chin. "I'm going to more to go on."

"You knew that Sokka and I were in a fight! I told you! And you invited him!"

Zuko crossed his arms over his chest. "It's my birthday."

"You sound like you're five!" Katara growled.

"So do you!" He shot back, his temper starting to show. Katara wondered how long it would take. This new Zuko she encountered when she first arrived seemed endlessly patient, but she knew deep down remnants of the old Zuko was still there. And he was coming out now. "I don't see why you're so upset!"

"Because," She countered. "It's none of your business whether or not I'm fighting with my brother! You don't question my life and I won't yours!"  
"What happened?" He demanded.

"Did you not hear what I just said?!"

"Just tell me!"

"NO!" 

"Just tell me!"

"NO!"

"Why won't you tell me?!"

Katara closed her eyes tight and heard herself shout; "FINE!" Then there was a soft silence. She opened her eyes to see Zuko standing there, expectant. And suddenly the anger that was so powerful a moment ago, melted away into something akin to shame. "...fine...About three years ago, my grandmother died. I didn't even know she was sick and..." She bit her lip, holding back the tears. "She raised us after my Mom died and my Dad left...she meant the world to me, just like Iroh means the world to you."

"I see," he urged her on.

"Here I am, this great healer," Katara laughed bitterly. "And I can't even save my own grandmother...I was in Ba Sing Se and she died without me there..."

"So you ran."

"Yes I did," Katara nodded. "I ran because I couldn't stay there, I couldn't be around all these people who said it wasn't my fault...who told me that it was what she wanted...I never got to say goodbye."

"Sokka didn't want you to go, you told me."

She shook her head. "He wanted me to stay and I couldn't. We haven't spoken since I left three years ago. Now..." She looked up at him. "Why did you do it? Why?"

He shrugged. "I remember how sad you looked, it-it reminded me of that day in Ba Sing Se when I-"

"You don't have to say it..." Katara said quietly.

"Yes I do." He insisted. "I know that I can't go back and undo it, or do it differently, but at least I can try to make up for it...He's your brother, brothers and sisters shouldn't fight like this..."

"So, you did this for me?"

He just looked at her. "Didn't you just hear what I said?!"

"No, I did." She held up a hand. "I was just trying to clarify."

Again he shrugged and smiled that smile that Katara had grown to love. "Of course."

As mad as she was that he'd gone behind her back, she wanted nothing more than to reach up and hug him. But an image of Mai's face flashed before her eyes and she held back her instinct. "Thank you..." She said instead.

"Don't thank me yet, you still have to deal with Sokka." He smiled a bigger smile, sensing the fight was over. 

"True..." She grinned. But her grin faded when she realized she wanted to ask about something Mai had said a few nights ago, but now didn't seem like the right time. "There is so much I want to say to you ..." was all she managed to admit. "So much that I can't say..."

"Why?" he took hold of one of her hands, grounding her to the spot. Katara wished that his touch didn't have the effect that it did, but there was nothing she could do about it.

"Mai," She managed to look him in the eye. "She loves you still. After everything...It's not fair to her."

Zuko looked puzzled. "What's not fair?"

Katara shook her head. "Its nothing, really. Just some silly little things, that's all."

"If you're sure?"

Katara nodded.

"... I have a meeting soon." He glanced at her. "I'll be around." He assured her.

Katara nodded, wrapping her arms around herself. "So will I." She told him as she watched him walk away. However if she hadn't looked down at her feet to gather her thoughts, she would have seen him glance back at her for the briefest moment before disappearing down the hallway. 

* * *

awwwwwwwwwww...and you all were waiting them to make-out!! keep reviewing and i'll keep writing!!


	8. The Lullaby pt 1

**A/N: I just love all of your reviews that i hurried up and put up the next chapter. so here it is and it's longer than the last couple. i wanted to personally thank all of my anonymousreviewers who come back to check on the story and to my signed in reviewers too, you guys are what is keeping me going...that and i love this pairing... This chapter is a two part one and the next chapter should be up by this weekend, anywho, read on and tell me what you think.**

**1. i own the lullaby only, i wrote it and everything else belongs to nick**

**2. if you don't like Zutura, don't read it**

**3. reviews are like chocolate to me...i'm a chocoholic: FEED THE ADDICTION!!**

* * *

Atonement: Chapter 8:

"_**Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength; loving someone deeply gives you courage."**__**Lao-Tzu**_

"So are you going to tell me what's going on with you and Sparky?" Toph asked that night after dinner when they retired to Katara's room for some much needed 'girl time' as Toph called it. As much as Katara hoped that it hadn't showed, it did; things between her and Zuko were very very odd and it was painfully obvious even to those without sight. "Or am I going to have to beat it out of you?"

Katara started playing with Toph's hair before she answered. "It's been strange..." Katara admitted, settling on the bed behind Toph.

"Strange how?" Toph wanted to know, especially after how Katara and Zuko had avoided saying much at all to each other, other than "pass the tea". They barely even looked at each other.

"I told him what happened with Sokka and I and he arranged the whole thing. I assume he had a hand in your coming here as well?"

Toph shook her head. "Nope, Aang said you needed me, so I came. And...I missed you."

"I've missed you too."

"So are you going to tell me?"

Katara sighed. "I was hoping you'd forgotten."

"No such luck, Sugar Queen...spill."

"Fine," Katara started to braid Toph's long black hair with deft fingers and sure tugs. Toph leaned back into Katara as she talked. "We were getting along fine and we became friends and then...Mai showed up."

"Mai, his old girlfriend?"

"Yes, and ever since she came back, everything has been so...strange. He hasn't been himself."

Toph giggled. "You hate her!"

Katara said nothing.

"Wow, you really really hate her and you are exceptionally jealous too!"

"I don't hate her; I just don't think that she likes the real Zuko... I think she's in love with the old Zuko, the one Sokka called 'The Angry Jerk'. She doesn't know him like I do."

"And you know him?"

"I do."

"How do you know?"

Katara shrugged. "I'm not sure. I can't put my finger on it exactly, it's just a feeling."

"You love him!"

"Why does everyone say that? First Hoshi, then Ming, then Ursa, now you too?!"

"You're protesting, but I can hear you smiling. It's deafening." Toph laughed.

"If you must know...I tried to hint to Zuko earlier today and he looked at me like I was insane."

Toph groaned. "Come on, Katara, you should know better than most girls, boys are notoriously show at figuring things out. Sokka is your brother after all."

"Since when are you an expert on guys?" Katara asked the younger girl.

"When your parents push that many suitors on you, you pick up on things really fast." Toph replied flippantly. "They come expecting this stupid fragile girl and they get me instead. It's quite a shock, apparently. Aang says they're not worth it, but I don't know..."

"What I want to know is, why did you call Aang by his name and not Twinkle Toes...?" Katara grinned as Toph blushed a deep scarlet and smiled a dreamy smile. "I think you better stop smiling, it's blinding!" Katara let the finished braid fall down Toph's back and Toph reached back to feel.

"I haven't said anything to him yet," Toph admitted quietly. "I mean, I'm sure he can have any girl he wanted, he's the Avatar, why would he want me?"

Katara grinned and sat in front of the girl. "Because you are an amazing, courageous and fun young lady, who doesn't let the fact that she's not perfect get in the way of being who she is. He's lucky you let him get within five feet of you..." Toph smiled at the praise. "Be who you are, be bold and tell him."

"Tomorrow..." Toph promised.

"Tomorrow." Katara confirmed and tucked some loose strands behind Toph's ears and started humming a soft melody.

"What is that? It's pretty..."

"Just something my mother used to sing. There are words..."

"Sing 'em!"

"Fine, just remember that I can't sing at all...

_When the sun falls from the sky,_

_And the day has passed you by._

_When the stars have gone away_

_Remember here I'll always stay..._

_When the storm rages on,_

_And all your light has gone._

_Through wind and rain and snow_

_Here I'll be to watch you grow..."_

"It's nice," Toph yawned. "Makes me sleepy."

"It should, it's a lullaby, but you should probably get to bed anyway." They both stood and Katara helped Toph to the door. "Are you sure you don't need some help getting to your room?"

Toph huffed out a groan. "You know, if you don't stop Momming me, I'll never accomplish anything," but she was grinning. "'Night, Mom!" She left and a few seconds later, Katara heard her smack into the wall. "I'm fine!" Toph called before Katara could poke her head out of the door. "I'm fine! Still adjusting!"

Katara smiled and blew out the candle in her room.

Katara, Toph and Aang all, were waiting at the Palace entrance the next morning when the carriage pulled by four fine black ostrich-horses pulled up. Katara took in a deep breath as the door opened and a small dark shape flew out yelling "UNCLE AANG! UNCLE AANG!" Yuuna ran out of the carriage and launched herself at the crouched monk.

Katara couldn't blame the little girl really. She hadn't been in Yuuna's life much since she left. True, she always sent something for Yuuna's birthday and always told Suki to say hello for her, but it still hurt when the girl ran to Aang instead of her.

Aang lifted the small girl up and Katara was shocked to see how much Yuuna looked like Sokka. There was the same nose, the same shape of the eyes, the same skin tone even. Yuuna's expression mirrored Sokka's; the look of deep concentration mixed with a great deal of suspicion. Her dark blue eyes looked Katara up and down before Aang pointed to Katara. "Do you remember your Aunty Katara?" He asked the small girl.

Yuuna continued to gaze at Katara with the same intensity then reached out one small pudgy hand toward her. Katara was just about to take the offered hand when she heard Sokka coming up behind Yuuna. "Stop moving so fast Suki! Nice and slow remember?"

But Suki wasn't going to be stopped by anyone. She waddled forward and threw her arms around Katara's neck. "Little sister!" She cried and hugged Katara tight. "Look at you! You're so grown up!"

"Look at you!" Katara countered. "I can't believe Sokka let you travel so close to the due date!" Katara placed her hand on Suki's bulging belly.

"I wouldn't miss seeing you for anything! Besides, I've got a month." Suki grinned broadly. "Look at her, Sokka! She looks so grown up! I just can't get over it."  
Aang looped an arm over Suki's shoulder. "Come on, I'll show you where you'll be staying. You look exhausted." He led her away with Yuuna looking at Katara over his broad shoulder. Toph shot a smile at Katara as she followed Aang (or at least it was in Katara's general direction). And then it was just brother and sister.

"Walk with me?" She asked her older brother. He mutely gestured for her to lead the way. Katara rolled her eyes and led him into the inner portion of the palace; into the courtyard that Iroh showed her the first night she'd been here. She turned to face him. "I've been thinking...and I just want you to understand..."

"Why you ran?" Sokka interjected icily.

Katara expected it; her brother had always been slow to forgive. "I just couldn't stay, Sokka...I couldn't..."

"Why? Because it was too hard? Katara, you ran out on us, when we needed you!"

"I know. And I'm sorry, Sokka," She clasped her hands together in front of her. "I'm so so sorry..."

"Sorry doesn't make up for it! How do you think Dad took it?! He hardly spoke to anyone after you left. He thought it was his fault. "

She felt, rather than heard; his words lash against her ears. She welcomed the pain. She deserved it, she deserved more but this was a start. "How could I stay?" She asked quietly looking up at him. "How could I stay when I wasn't there to do anything about it? Sokka, I would give anything to have her back, but no matter what I do, how many people I heal, where I go, I know that I can't do anything about this. I can't undo the past."

"Don't you think I would have done the same?" Her brother looked so sad it broke her heart. "You left me when I needed you the most. Haven't I always been there for you?" It was not the morose look on his face or the quiet tone of his voice that tugged at her heart; it was his eyes that were so similar; not in the color or the same but the pain and guilt and sadness she found there. It was the exact same she found every morning when she looked in the mirror. "I needed you and you weren't there."

Katara couldn't take it any longer and she threw her arms around her brother. "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry! I was wrong and weak and stupid! I'm sorry, big brother!"

She knew she'd been forgiven, or at least she was on the road to forgiveness when she felt his arms come around her. "I guess," He sighed. "We'll have to figure out where to put you when you come home..." That was his way of saying everything was all right. "Suki and Yuuna are going to want you in the house and Dad's going to want you with him."

Katara pulled back to smile at her brother. "Yeah," She said slowly, realizing that she would have to leave this place soon. "I guess we will."

She and Sokka stayed out there talking, about everything in a way they hadn't before. Sometime later, Katara wasn't sure how long it was, Toph and Aang joined them and all four of them formed a circle just like they used to. It was entirely natural to do so and exactly the same, but at the same time, as Katara looked around, not so; Sokka sat there, looking so grown-up with the new responsibilities of a father and husband and emerging leader. Toph, who sat between Sokka and Aang, had grown into her face in the last few years. With her long black braid hanging over her shoulder and high cheekbones and the same brilliant green eyes that did not see, but could see even the truth; was lovely enough to break a thousand faces. And finally Aang, still bald and always laughing, had grown up so much. Katara didn't mean physically, but...the way he saw things now. He was the same but different and she couldn't say why.

As they sat in the weak winter sunshine, laughing and talking and reliving "the good days" as Toph called them, Katara wondered what they saw then they looked at her? A girl so stubborn she was willing to alienate herself from her own family? A girl who didn't know what she wanted? A betrayer? A fool? A sister? A friend? But as she looked from face to face, she realized that it didn't matter; she accepted them for who they were and they simply returned the favor. She knew that her friends would always be there for her, to face the things together that they couldn't face alone and the thought filled her with a strange amount of courage that no one could take away.

* * *

Katara had bid Iroh goodnight and was washing out the tea pot. She and Iroh had stayed up a little later that night than usual and Hoshi had already gone to bed. Suddenly she heard the door open and then there was Zuko's voice speaking very quietly to Iroh. Then the light went out and Zuko came into the small kitchen.

"I thought you'd gone to bed," he said.

"I will be soon," Katara shrugged. "I just wanted to rinse this out. Hoshi already went to bed and I didn't want to make any extra work for her."

"Oh," he suddenly looked very nervous about something. Even with all the strangeness between them, Katara picked up on it and cocked her head in confusion. "Something wrong?"

"No..."

"Well, spit it out then, you're making me nervous," Katara grinned.

"You know me too well," he conceited with a smile of his own.

"I do and don't change the subject...spill," she ordered just like Toph ordered yesterday.

"Well," he scratched the back of his neck, putting off what he had to say. "I was just wondering...if ...you've got an escort for tomorrow."

Confused, Katara shrugged. "No, I guess I'll go with Aang-"

"He's going with Toph."

"And Sokka-

"Has Suki..."

She peered up at him. "What are you getting at?"

He expelled a quick breath. "Do...do you want to come with me?"

Katara stared at him for a moment. "You?"

"You don't have to..." he looked crestfallen. "It was just an idea..."

"No...I'd love to," she assured him. "I really want to, I just assumed you and Mai were going together, that's all."

"I didn't ask Mai."

"Oh...why not?"

He simply looked at her. "Because I want to go with you." He gave her that sweet smile that made him so incredibly beautiful that it made Katara's heart skip a beat. "So," he held out a hand. "Will you go with me?"

She took his offered hand. "I will." Katara looked down at her hand enveloped in his much larger one and she knew that nothing would ever be the same again.

* * *

**sorry guys, i know its taking a while, but i have to make this right, don't worry, you all will be loving me by the next chapter...oh and im sorry if this chapter was a little corny with all the friends talk, but i was in kind of a sappy mood when i wrote it...anyway, please review...i'm not above begging**


	9. The Lullaby pt 2

**A/N: hey guys, your reviews were so encouraging, that since I didn't have school this week, I hurried up and finished the 9****th**** chapter, I hope you love it just as much...I have a feeling you will. !!**

**I do not own anything except Hoshi and Yuuna and the other random characters that you don't recognize. I own the zutaraness here and the taangness too, I have a feeling it'll be canon real soon!**

**I own the lullaby, there's another 2 verses!!**

**If you don't like zutara, don't read it**

**Reviews are like crack to me, feed the addiction!!**

* * *

Atonement: Chapter 9:

"_**Love is the immortal flow of energy that nourishes, extends and preserves. Its eternal goal is life."**__**Smiley Blanton**_

She felt silly. Incredibly and totally silly as she stood there waiting. Katara could hear the downpour of the rain against the roof. Most normal people couldn't, but it made her even more edgy. She liked rain, she preferred snow on a more personal note, but she like the way it sounded when it hit the ground, another body of stagnant water, even when it hit her skin like thousands of icy kisses. Katara loved the way the world smelled after it rained, everything was sweet and clean. It was a new start. But now, as the rain slammed against the roof and the thunder rolled in the distance, she found it sounding very much like her hammering heart; unsteady and unpredictable, two things that she hated.

Since Zuko was now Katara's escort, she was supposed to come in with him along with Iroh, Ursa, Sokka, Suki Toph and Aang, as an honored guest. However, Zuko was nowhere to be found.

"Did you see him anywhere?" Katara asked Aang for the thousandth time. "He said he be here ten minutes ago..."

"Nope," Aang was trying to fix a troublesome collar, but stopped when Katara batted his hands aside and fixed it for him.

"Can you hear him, Toph?"

"There are too many people already down there," She indicated the stairs where the rest of the guests waited. "It's really hard to pick out a single set of footsteps with that many to listen to at once."

Ursa was just as worried. "He's going to miss his own birthday..." She looked at Iroh who offered his arm to her as the music below them came to a lilting end.

Iroh, who had gained a little weight since Katara came, looked healthier than he had in a long while. But Katara could see the shadows beneath his eyes which refused to go away; his normally pale skin was paler and had a strange papery quality to it. As he smiled, Katara forgot all of that. "Don't worry, if I know my nephew the way I think I do, he loves to make a dramatic entrance." He nodded to Ursa and they proceeded down the stairs to the sound of cheers.

Just as Sokka and Suki started down the stairs after their names had been announced and Toph and Aang were making last minute adjustments, Zuko came running around the corner. He was dusting off his formal robes of bloodred, black trimmed in a bright gold thread, much like Iroh's robes. His long black hair had been pulled up into a topknot, but Katara, despite her fury that she had been kept waiting this long, thought he always looked much better in a simple tunic, pants and his hair loose around his shoulders. She kept that thought to herself though.

"Where have you been?" Katara hissed. "You were supposed to be here ten minutes ago!"

He just looked at her, a small smile growing on his lips. "You look beautiful..."

"Thank you...and that wasn't an explanation-" She was cut off however, as Toph and Aang were announced and disappeared down the stairs. "But we're next."

Zuko offered her his arm as was the custom and she took it. "Remember," he whispered to her, as if it were an incredibly precious secret. "Just breathe."

"Don't let me fall," Katara whispered back as she picked up the hem of the kimono

"I won't." he promised as their names were announced and they descended the stairs into a whirlwind of cheers, bright swirling colors, laughter and music. Katara was glad, for once, to have such a tight hold on Zuko's arm; without it, she would have been lost among all the chaos. And not once during the evening did he voluntarily let go. Once or twice she would slip away to greet a dignitary or embrace an old friend, but she always return to her former position where he would take her hand or slip an arm around her waist.

Most of the ambassadors looked curiously at the pair or them, turning to their wives or husbands to whisper. Redeemed members of the "old nobility", as they were called, of the Fire Nation; such as Mai's and Ty Lee's family did not approve and their disdain was evident. They pedaled politeness, but Katara could see that their smiles did not reach all the way up to their eyes. They only visited with the old nobility as long as Zuko had to and then he steered her away as fast as he could.

"They don't seem to be taking to me," Katara whispered as they finished talking with Ty Lee's parents.

"If it makes you feel any better, they don't like me that much either." He confided to her with a smile. Then the smile was replaced with a look of amazement as he gazed at the couple talking with Toph and Aang. "She came..."

"Who?"

"Ty Lee..." He led her across the room to where Ty Lee and Haru were. Ty Lee looked exactly the same as Katara remembered, except she leaned in slightly toward Haru who had his arm draped across her waist; it was a sight Katara found both strange and a little endearing.

Ty Lee's smile was as radiant as ever as she saw Zuko and Katara coming. "Zuko!" She squealed when he pulled her into a hug, then when he released her, she looked behind him and her smile faded when she saw Katara standing there. "Where's Mai?"

Zuko shrugged. "She's around here somewhere." He reached back and locked hands with Katara. "I'm sure you remember Katara?"

"Oh..." The same smile returned to Ty Lee's face. "Oh yes. Haru's told me so much about you, I feel like we're friends already!"

"So," Katara had to ask. "How in the world did you two meet?"

Ty Lee launched into a dramatic story of her and Mai's travels, embellishing the story as needed with wild hand motions and ever changing facial expressions. "...and then the boulder lifted up and my Haru," She gazed up at Haru with a look so full of love and admiration it was hard not to be a little moved by it. "stood there and asked if I was alright..."

"He lifted a boulder...?" Toph's brow furrowed. "That's it??"

"Ssshhhhh..." Aang hissed.

But Ty Lee didn't catch any of the exchange; she was too busy explaining that at first Haru's parents and even the entire village was against them and for the first time she could see just how much balance really was needed in the world. "We're so opposite, but" She was saying and shrugging, it made no difference to her. "It doesn't matter. Haru steadies me, and I keep him on his toes.

Ty Lee understood it. Why couldn't anyone else see it? Katara could finally put into words what she felt toward Zuko; an unmistakable attraction. Like the moon pulling the waves across the ocean, or the balance of light and darkness; they fit together . She felt Zuko tighten his hold on her hand and she knew he understood it too.

Katara felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to see Mai standing there. "I need a word," she whispered. Katara could feel Zuko watching them and she whispered to him that she'd be right back. As she followed Mai to a less crowed part of the room, she heard Toph whisper to Aang: "Dead girl walking..."

"What?" Ty Lee heard her too and Katara could hear Aang slap his forehead in frustration.

Mai stopped in front of one of the windows where the rain dripped down the pane quietly and almost serenely. "I just want you to know that I'm giving up." Mai said in such a quiet voice, Katara could hardly hear it over the rain.

"What are you talking about?"

Mai held up her hands in a gesture of surrender. "I've decided that he isn't the same boy I fell in love with...He's all yours. But," Her eyes narrowed. "If you break his heart, I will not hesitate in hunting you down and killing you."

Katara smiled, knowing that the threat, no matter how real it was, came from a good place. She bowed to Mai. "Don't worry; he'll be safe with me."

And then Mai did something Katara never thought she'd ever see Mai do; she smiled a small but true smile and bowed back. As Mai straightened and disappeared into the crowd, Katara heard someone coming up behind her. She turned and there was Zuko, one hand extended toward her and a smile on his face.

"What was that all about?" He asked when she took the offered hand.

"Mai and I have come to an understanding," Katara informed him. "That's all."

"I've never known Mai to come to an understanding about anything." He noted.

"Somehow I don't think it was all me," she looked up at him.

"What? Me?" He pointed to himself. "You think I have something to do with all of this?"

Katara crossed her arms in front of herself and looked expectantly, her foot tapped impatiently on the floor as she waited. "I don't think, I know."

Zuko sighed. "Fine, I'll tell you on one condition."

"What condition?"

"Come with me."

"Come with you where? It's your party, we really can't leave." She gestured to the rest of the guests.

He shrugged. "I've already talked to everyone I need to and besides, I don't even know half of these people. No one's going to miss us."

"Where are we going?"

"It's a surprise."

Katara chanced a glance to where her friends were all talking and laughing. If she left now, she'd get a talk from Sokka tomorrow about being responsible. Then again, they were so involved with what they were doing; Katara doubted they would miss her and Zuko at all. She smiled at him. "Lead the way."

Zuko grabbed her hand and they slipped out of a back door and past the bustling kitchen when Katara heard a very familiar voice.

"My lady?" Hoshi poked her head out of the kitchen with little Yuuna at her side. Yuuna, having decided that she liked her aunt very much, ran out and held her hands up to Katara. Katara leaned over and picked the little girl up.

"My lady? I thought you and ..." she came out of the kitchen all the way to see Zuko there as well. "Oh..." She smiled; one hand on her hip. "I see."

"Hoshi...it's not what you think..."

"Of course it isn't my lady." Hoshi took Yuuna back from Katara's arms. "I'll see you tomorrow. Good night, highness," She bowed as best she could and returned to the kitchen.

Katara sighed. "I'm never going to hear the end of this."

"The end of what?"

"It doesn't matter," She assured him. "I'll tell you later. Now, where were we going?"

"Follow me," he replied with a generous smile and they raced down the hall because they could. They passed the hall Katara, Toph, Aang, Suki and Sokka's rooms were in, the one where Zuko and Iroh and Ursa lived, past the courtyard and up a few flights of stairs until they came to a landing that opened out onto a balcony. A red curtain shielded them from the now softly falling rain and as she pushed it aside a little she could see that it overlooked all of the palace and surrounding lands including the road and even the woods that she and Zuko had ridden through months ago.

"This is incredible," She said, pulling the red curtain aside to see even farther.

"It was a watch tower, but it can only see so far and then it was forgotten. So, when I was little I could wander up here and just look out at the world." He stepped out onto the balcony, one hand extended out in front of him, testing to see how hard it was raining.

Katara took the lotus bloom comb out of her hair and shook hit loose, she laid it down on the railing and joined him. She closed her eyes and tipped her face skyward, feeling the tiny drops of rain brush against her cheeks and hair. Somehow, then it rained like this, it reminded her of her mother. She reached up to her neck and then let her hand fall, the necklace was not there. "Sokka had a watch tower once." Katara said. "Before we left home. It got knocked down though."

"He spent a lot of time there?"

She nodded. "But not me, I would always sneak away and walk near the ocean, listening to the waves against the ice, feeling the push and pull and just thinking. It was so peaceful."

"You miss it. I can hear it in your voice."

She nodded. "I do, it wasn't the same at the North Pole."

"You can always go back, you and Sokka seem better."

"We are, but, I'm staying here...until..." her voice purposely trailed off. "I know you're worried about him."

"I thought maybe if I got to you soon enough, you could save him." He looked down. "But...he's getting worse. I can see it."

She nodded again. "He is. He doesn't have much time left."

"I know," His voice held so much sadness that it made her heart hurt. She reached out and looped her arm through his. "After all I've done, all the chaos I've caused, I thought I could try to make up for it." He leaned into her. "After all I've put you through, I had to try. I don't know if I've ever told you how sorry I am. For everything."

"It wasn't entirely your fault. Everything was so twisted around back then." She sighed. "I'm sorry too, for everything I said to you about how you couldn't be trusted and that you would turn your back on us again."

"It was my fault."

"Stop." She tightened her grip on his arm. "If we don't stop blaming ourselves for things that have happened in the past, we are never going to get anywhere."

"I guess that makes sense..." he was quiet for a moment.

"So, what did you say to Mai?" Katara tried to distract him.

"You know that ever since she's been back, she and I have spent a lot of time together. She thought that maybe we could try again, but I told I couldn't."

"Why not?"

He looked down at her. "Do you even have to ask?"

"Yes, I do. You've been acting so strange lately that I didn't know where we stood. You had a choice to make and I wasn't going to interfere."

"When you came to dinner that first night in that blue kimono, I had no choice," he informed her. Then suddenly, his arm was around her waist and was pulling her closer, her hands fell to his elbows and she looked up at him. "W-what are you doing?"

"What do you think?" He asked with a smile almost to himself. He leaned in and-

"MY LADY!" Hoshi was there on the landing. "My Lady Katara!"

"She has the absolute worst timing of anyone I have ever met," Zuko groaned and backed away knowing it would only be a few seconds before they would be caught. Katara sighed and grabbed the comb she set down. They both came through the curtain and intercepted Hoshi before she ran up the rest of the stairs, who was practically having a fit.

"Hoshi, what's wrong?" Katara asked the girl, catching her by the shoulders.

"Lord Sokka sent me to find you! Lady Suki is in labor, she needs you!"

"What?! She's still got a month to go!"

"Well obviously the baby doesn't know that," Zuko put in.

"Not helping!" Katara hissed. "Hoshi go and grab as many towels as you can find and meet me at Suki and Sokka's room!"

* * *

About an hour before dawn, Katara held up her new baby niece as Hoshi and another maid cleaned up. Suki was fast asleep with Yuuna and Sokka beside her. Baby Yori seem to enjoy Katara's touch and was for now very quiet. She took her niece out into the hallway, humming the lullaby softly under her breath. Yori gave a small yawn and closed her bright blue eyes.

"_When the sun falls from the sky,_

_And the day has passed you by._

_When the stars have gone away_

_Remember here I'll always stay..._

_When the storm rages on,_

_And all your light has gone._

_Through wind and rain and snow_

_Here I'll be to watch you grow..."_ The words came unbidden to Katara's lips as she rocked her tiny niece to sleep, but she sang on as long as the words came. There would be a point when Katara could no longer sing the lullaby, because not only could she not remember what the words were, her voice became choked in her throat as she realized that both Sokka's daughters would grow up with a mother, and with so much family they wouldn't know what to do with.

"I know that song," Zuko came up behind her; she turned and beckoned him forward with one hand. He had changed into more relaxed clothes, just as she had. He had let his hair down and was running a free hand through it. "It's one my mother used to sing to me."

She smiled. "That's all I remember of it...I think there might be more but..." she shook her head and stifled a yawn.

"You look exhausted."

"I am," She admitted. "But, this is what makes it all worthwhile," she offered him the baby.

"Oh no...no no no..." But Katara handed him Yori anyway and the look of absolute panic on his face was priceless.

"Support her head with your arm and support her back with your other hand," Katara ordered gently, positing him so that Yori had no chance of slipping out. "There, see...you're a natural." She smiled as she watched Zuko's face soften as he looked down at Yori. There was something in his gaze that made Katara feel like she was slipping under a tide, no escape, no way out and she couldn't have been happier about it.

"She's so small...are they all this small?" He asked.

"No, Yuuna was huge. Normally the firstborns are the ones that are small and the second that are huge, but," Katara shrugged and stifled another yawn.

Suddenly, Zuko stared humming. The same melody, the same tune and then Katara could hear him singing the rest of the words to the lullaby.

"_Sleep long and sweet my darling one,_

_Under the moon, stars and sun._

_May your dreams all come true,_

_While the day's bright and blue._

_It doesn't matter where you go,_

_Simply close your eyes and know_

_From my heart you're never far._

_My love for you shines like a star..."_

"You should go to bed," he advised her, still looking down at Yori.

"So should you."

"You both should!" Sokka appeared at the doorway. "I thought you both had gone to bed forever ago." He took his youngest daughter back and made shooing motions with his free hands.

"Big brother says," Katara grinned and leaned against Zuko as he walked her to her room. Just as they arrived at her door and she was about to say goodnight, Zuko reached over and caught her face in his much larger hands. He ran his thumbs over her cheekbones, then pulled her close as his hands slid downward.

"So, you're going to finish what you started?" She asked quietly.

"I'm a man of my word,"

She would have made a snappy remark, but her thought process failed her as his lips eased over hers in such a sweet and gentle way that made Katara practically melt under him. Her hands moved up the wall of his chest and lock around his neck, one hand tangled in his hair at the nape of his neck.

His much larger hands moved down her back, gathering her closer and closer until he was all she could see and feel. As they traded kiss for kiss, Katara tried to count them; one, two, five, twelve...she lost count. Something Ty Lee had said earlier that evening stuck with her even now; _"We're so opposite, but... We fit..."_ it was completely true for her and Zuko as they stood there kissing as the sun came up.

* * *

**aaawwwwwww... its the moment you all have been waiting for!! i hope you guys like it.**


	10. Secrets

**A/N; I know i changed pen names on you all, but i wanted this one to match the ID i have on which is an awsome sight were i have collected some of the best zutara and Taang fanart pieces!! anywho...this chapter ran a lot longer than i thought it would...but don't expect the rest of the chapters to be as long as 9 and 10...**

**some things to think about:**

**1. i don't own anything but Hoshi, Yuuna and Yori...and a random waterbender that i haven't seen a name for...if you do know it, let me know and i'll fix it. Everything you recognize belongs to Nick.**

**2.ifyou don't like/ agree with /can't stand Zutara or Taang, don't read it please...so far so good, but i know that as soon as i don't put that warning, im gonna get a whole flood of violent Kataangers and i'll scream**

**3.this chapter starts out cute and fluffy but gets a sad at the end...Shields face with hand please don't kill me!!**

**4. I've been thinking of doing a sequel, just so you know, but the storyline needs some work, so right now it's just a plot bunny**

**5. read and review...i love how many hits i get for each chapter...i really do and i love reviews even more!!**

* * *

Atonement: Chapter 10

"_**pleasure and pain are merely surfaces**_

_**(one itself showing, itself hiding one)**_

_**life's only and true value is neither." E.E Cummings**_

Katara sat up and instantly regretted it. Her head throbbed and her feet were sore. There was an odd cottony taste in her mouth, but she couldn't stay asleep any longer. She pressed the heel of her hand to her forehead and closed her eyes against the brilliant sunlight now pouring from her window.

What day was it? She wondered. How long had she been asleep? She vaguely remembered waking up in the middle of the night, Hoshi being there and saying things to her, but it was all so fuzzy now. Katara ran her hand through her wildly curling hair and tried to remember. Then there was Zuko...and the kiss. Honestly, Katara wasn't even sure it had happened. It wove itself in and out of so many dreams that Katara just couldn't tell if it was real.

Feeling her head clear a little, Katara got up out of bed and went hunting for some new clothes. She found a set of her favorite worn set of robes and stepped behind the changing screen. As she was yanking her night clothes off, she heard Hoshi come in. "Good, you're up! We were beginning to worry." The girl placed a fresh basin of water on the vanity and started to re-make the bed.

Katara shrugged the blue linen over her shoulders and secured it with a belt. "We?" She stepped out from behind the changing screen, pulling her hair back into a simple braid.

"Lady Ursa, Fire Lord Iroh, Avatar Aang, Lady Beifong, Lord Sokka, Lady Suki," Hoshi listed off. "And Prince Zuko. He's been by every hour since he got up." Hoshi almost sang the last bit.

"Stop gloating," Katara warned as she splashed her face and cleaned her teeth. "Gloating is not attractive."

"I beg to differ, my lady," Hoshi was putting Katara's clean kimono in the closet. "It's doing wonders for my skin."

Katara groaned into a towel.

Then, there was a knock at the door and Hoshi answered, smiling. "Just a moment," she told the person. She grabbed Katara's arm and thrust her through the open door and right into Zuko's arms. He caught her just before she lost her balance completely. "Have fun, my lady!" Hoshi called and shut the door behind them.

"I understand the whole 'I'm never going to hear the end of this' comment now," he told her as he helped her stand.

"I really wasn't kidding," She smiled up at him.

"I'll have to believe you next time." He looked around, but they were all alone in the hall.

"What are you doing?" Katara asked.

"Making sure no one is around." His grin was mischievous and now she knew for sure that "the kiss" really had happened.

"Why?"

"Do you ever stop talking?"

"Why would you want me to stop talking?" She knew full well why.

"This," He leaned down and planted a very soft kiss on her lips. "I didn't get to say good morning yet."

"Good morning!" Katara trilled and stood up on her tip toes to kiss him back. "Hoshi said you came by earlier..."

"I just wanted to make sure you were all right, you've been asleep for a full day."

"Huh..." Katara counted on her fingers. "I guess I was."

"And you find nothing strange about that?"

She shrugged. "I've done it before...but I'm starving."

"Good, because, Toph and my mother are waiting for you." He started to lead her down to Ursa's suite.

"Not you?"

He shook his head. "No, I have a meeting to go to with Aang and Sokka. But I'll be around later."

Katara sighed. "Promise?"

Zuko smiled and kissed her forehead. "I promise."

Katara gave his hand one last squeeze, thinking he'd take off but instead he wrapped his arms around her waist, his thumbs running over her hip bones. Katara smiled and pressed herself as close to him as she could, inhaling his smell, which was like cinnamon, ash and something else she couldn't put her finger on...something familiar but not at the same time.

"Hey, Sugar Queen!" Toph's voice cut through the wall. "I can hear you both out there!"

"First Hoshi, now Toph..." Zuko shook his head in disbelief. "We are never going to be a second alone." He leaned down and kissed her on the cheek. "I should go anyway."

"I'll see you later," Katara murmured and let him go. She turned and took a deep breath before opening the door and facing the firing squad. She opened the door to find Toph and Ursa sipping tea serenely. "Go ahead and gloat!" She urged them. "Get it over with."

"Gloat?" Toph wondered innocently. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Toph, I swear-" But Katara didn't finish the threat, she took a swig of hot tea and helped herself to breakfast.

Ursa hid a smile behind her hand. "I saw Yori yesterday," she was trying to diffuse the fight she could see erupting.

Katara nodded and waited until she had finished chewing to answer. "How is she? I haven't been by lately."

"Very quiet, but sweet. Yuuna adores her."

"I'm going to see them after breakfast, if you want to come with me."

"I'd like that very much," Ursa replied handing Katara another plate.

"So, what did I miss yesterday?"

Toph tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Not much..."

"Only that Toph and Aang went off by themselves after lunch and didn't come back until dinner." Ursa put in daintily.

"TOPH!" Katara half-shouted.

Toph glared in Ursa's direction. "How did you know about that?"

"I have my ways," Ursa grinned.

* * *

"Aunty Katara!" Yuuna called from the edge of the pond in the private gardens. After breakfast, Toph said she'd promised Iroh that she would come and visit (Personally, Katara thought it was to avoid the teasing she knew she would get form Katara). When she and Ursa had visited Suki, Yori and Yuuna; Suki begged for them to take Yuuna, who had been cooped up for a couple of days. So Katara and Ursa agreed and took both Yuuna and Yori out into the winter sunshine. The raging storm that had blown itself out the day before, gave way to blue skies and temperatures that were warm enough to be spring.

Katara looked up from Yori to see that as Yuuna twirled around; the water in the pond flew up and rained back down on her. Katara remembered Suki telling her that she suspected that Yuuna could be a water bender, but...

"Well," Ursa smiled. "It looks like you have a pupil, Sifu Katara..."

"Very good, sweetheart!" Katara called to Yuuna, who waved. Katara turned back to Ursa. "I guess I'll have a job when I go home." Katara brought her knees up to her chest and laid her chin on them.

"Isn't it what you want?"

She watched Yuuna trying to lift the water backup but now she had little success. "I thought it was," Katara told her. "Now, I'm not so sure; so much had changed."

"I see..." Ursa tweaked Yori's nose. "Would you stay?"

Katara looked over at her.

"If he asked?" And Katara knew who Ursa was talking about.

"...I don't know," Katara stood, suddenly. "I should go see Yuuna, make sure she's not going to flood the palace by mistake."

"Did you see?" Yuuna asked when Katara had met her at the pond. "Did you see??"

"I did!" Katara grinned. "It was very good, have you practiced much?"

"I watch Sifu Shiro," Yuuna shrugged, naming one of Master Pakku's students. "But he doesn't know."

"I see, now I know I'm not Sifu Shiro, but I can teach you a few things..." Katara offered.

Yuuna thought for a moment, then nodded and tried to follow every move that Katara made, her little brow furrowed in concentration. Katara let each move flow into the next, but Yuuna still saw each step as separate and isolated and still had a long way to go. About a half an hour in, Yuuna looked up to see her father, Aang and Zuko all coming down the hill and settling down in the grass next to Ursa and Yori. "Look, it's Daddy!"

Katara snorted.

"What?" Yuuna cast a glance at her aunt.

"It's funny to me, to hear someone call him 'daddy', that's all." Katara explained as she looked up to see Zuko casting private smiles at her. She felt her heart trip over itself as she returned them.

"Um...Aunty Katara?"

"Yes?" She snapped back.

"The pond's frozen."

"Oh...sorry..." Katara waved her hand and the pond returned to normal. "Come on, Yuuna, I think you've had enough for today."

Yuuna come running and slipped her small hand into Katara's as they walked up the hill. When they reached everyone else, Yuuna snuggled into Katara's lap and started playing the hand slapping game with Aang. Katara had, of course, sat down next to Zuko who sat back on his hand so that one of his arms was behind Katara's back, and she watched everything around her. Sokka had Yori back from Ursa and they were deep in conversation about something Katara couldn't quite hear. Aang had the most concentrated look on his face as his and Yuuna's game wore on.

"You know," Zuko was saying softly to her. "I could get used to this."

"I think we should keep it like this for a while," Katara agreed. Suddenly she could feel Sokka's eyes on her. She glanced over at her brother only to see him watching she and Zuko with narrowed eyes.

"What?" She asked her brother.

"I suppose I'm just going to have to get used to this, then?"

"It's no worse than you and Suki..." Katara rolled her eyes.

Sokka ignored the comment. "Well, I have to say; sometimes I really question your taste in men...Him..." Sokka shrugged in Zuko's direction, "Jet..."

"Who's Jet?" Zuko asked quietly, as if he already knew.

Aang stood up suddenly. "Ursa, I think we better go find Toph," He helped her up and they disappeared back up to the palace. All the while Katara was still glaring at her brother.

"Sokka..." She growled, noting that Zuko had said very little and had sat back up.

Sokka held up his free hand. "Sorry...I shouldn't have said it, I thought you had gotten over it," He glanced at her. "I guess you haven't. Come on, Yuuna, time to go back and see Mommy,"

"I want to stay with Aunty Katara!" Yuuna whined.

Katara leaned down. "Why don't you go with your Daddy and help him with Yori. We can play later, all right?"

"All right," Yuuna agreed and went to her father's side.

When they had gone, Katara half turned to Zuko who was paler than usual. He looked up at her. "Who's Jet?" he asked again.

She sighed. "We met him on the way to the North Pole, he was cute and smart and ...not who I thought he was...we met him again Ba Sing Se and he helped us in the end...before the Dai Li killed him...that is..."

"I knew a Jet..." He said slowly and Katara looked up. "When Uncle and I lived in Ba Sing Se...He tried to accuse of being Fire Nation spies and the Dai Li took him away... I never saw him again after that."

Katara nodded. "I didn't mean to keep it a secret, I just...want to forget..."

"I understand," he smiled slid one arm around her waist and made small swirled patterns on her lower back. She reached up and ran her thumb over his jaw line.

"What are you thinking right now?" She wanted to know.

He thought for a moment."How much I want to kiss you."

"Besides that! Really, I want to know what you're thinking."

He lifted his head away from her hands. "How close your fingers are to my scar."

"Do you really hate it that much?"

"Wouldn't you?" he sat back again, removing his hand from her back. "I look at it and all I can see is my father and the fire..." He smiled bitterly. "You'd think that'd be enough to make me hate him. But I wanted to prove I wasn't weak..."

"Your own father...?" Katara shivered. Zuko had alluded that the scar wasn't an accident, but she'd never heard the full story outright as he told it now. Had Ozai's cruelty known no bounds? He had already sent Zuko's mother away, set his own sister against him and to challenge him to Angi Kai for speaking out of turn? When the tale was finished, Zuko hung his head as if the story had taken all the life from him. "Zuko," She whispered, cradling his face in her hands so that he had to look at her. "Listen to me; what your father did was unforgiveable and you did the right thing in helping us...that was the strongest thing you could have done."

Still he didn't look assured.

"I've seen your face and I'm not afraid of it," she leaned forward and kissed the edge of the scar just under his eye. "You don't have to hide from me."

Slowly but surely, Zuko nodded.

"No more secrets?" She asked.

"No more secrets..." he agreed.

"You know..." She swirled her fingers on his knee. "No one else is around...and you were complaining this morning that we haven't gotten a second alone..."

"Unless I'm mistaken, I would assume that you, Lady Katara, are trying to seduce me..." He murmured with a grin.

"Just a little," she shrugged as he leaned forward. She felt his lips smile against her for the briefest moment before she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him close enough for their knees to touch. She kissed back fiercely enough for him to fall back under her weight until he was lying on the ground and Katara was half on top of him. And she lost herself in that kiss to a place where there was no future, no past, no pain and no fear; just him and her lost in their own private world.

However, their little vacation was cut short as suddenly Katara heard something that could have been a shout or cry. She sat up and looked around. "Did you hear that?" she asked him.

"Hear what?" Zuko tried to pull her back down, but then there it was again. This time he sat up on his elbows. "That?"

She nodded, looking around, confused.

"It sounds like...Aang." He sat up all the way now. It sounded again and they stood, trying to fix their clothes so there would be no suspicious glances or questions.

Suddenly Aang appeared on the hill, a wild look in his eye. "Katara! It's Iroh!"

* * *

A dark night sky settled outside Iroh's window. But the candles on his bedside and desk burned brightly, dispelling the darkness if only for a little while. When Katara and Zuko reached Iroh's suites they found him lying unconscious in the hallway. Toph ,who had tears in her eyes as she explained that she heard his heart speed up suddenly and then he just dropped to the ground. Aang, Ursa and Zuko were sitting with her now as they waited for Katara's diagnosis.

As Katara worked, she knew that there was very little she could do for Iroh, besides make him comfortable. The bad blood was robbing Iroh of oxygen and not running as smoothly as good blood did. She infused the blood with as much air as she could, she would have to do it again in about a week when the full moon arrived and her powers would be at their peak. Finally, about three hours after she'd started, Katara staggered out the door and everyone stood waiting for news.

"He's sleeping now," She whispered. "But he's worse than I thought. It's happening faster than I could have predicted. I've done as much as I can to night, but..." she shook her head. "It won't be long."

Toph, who hated to cry, simply turned to Aang and rested her forehead against his chest. Ursa nodded silently and then slipped in the door, before anyone could protest, to sit with Iroh for a while, "just in case he wants some tea when he wakes up." she insisted.

"You should get to bed," Katara urged Aang and Toph and they slumped away, promising to be there bright and early. As they disappeared around the corner, Zuko closed his eyes and took a deep breath in.

His face, which had been filled with so much happiness only hours ago, now was full of despair and loss and hurt that Katara could hardly keep the tears at bay. Not even an Avatar could have stopped her from wrapping her arms around his middle and pulling him close enough to hear his heartbeat against her ear. He stood there a moment before he wound his arms around her too; one around her waist and the other cupping the base of her neck. He tucked her head under his chin and let out another deep breath.  
"I don't know what to say..." she whispered. "To make his better or easier...or...something..."

"You can't," his voice was low and she could feel it rumbling in his chest.

"I wish I could."

"I know," was all he said.

* * *

**...sad faces here, i know i'm sorry its so sad, but im afraid ya'll gonna have to get your hankies out for the next few chapters...much love...T.R.P.D...**


	11. Goodnight

**_HEY GUYS!! sorry this chapter took so long, i had the worst writer's block about this chapter...i had to make it right...i'd tell you why, but you'll have to read it...on a more positive note, FELLZOR was my 100th reviewer!! let's give him/her a huge round of applause!! YAY!! oh and an update on my sequal, i 've been thinking of doing a small one-shot in between "Atonement" and the full lenght sequal "Firefly"...i'll keep you posted._**

**_1. I own nothing at all, except Hoshi, Yuuna, and Yori, everything esle belongs to NIck_**

**_2. this story is close to being done, i only have 2 chapters and an epiloge left._**

**_3. i l love reviews and i'm not above begging for them!!_**

**_4. If you don't like Zutara, don't read this, you wouldn't like it._**

**_5. the next chapter's quote (The thingy under the chapter #) will probably be Hamlet too, blame my professor, he made me read it_**

* * *

Atonement: Chapter 11:

_"**This above all; to thine own self be true,**_

_**And it must follow as the night the day." Polonius from "Hamlet"**_

Iroh regained some of his strength over the next few days, but Katara forbade any extreme physical activity or any extra stress. He allowed walks in the garden in the early mornings and a few council meetings but for the most part, Iroh was confined to his bed.

"A bold move," Iroh commented as he watched Katara lay down her moon tile on the Pai Sho board. "A bold move indeed." He was teaching her to play and while she was no match for Iroh or Sokka, who turned out to be very good, she was improving with every game. "But not bold enough I'm afraid!" Iroh put down his favorite lotus tile and won again.

"That's three games in a row!" Katara exclaimed.

"Pai Sho is a game of strategy and cunning. You must learn how your opponent thinks and anticipate!" Iroh instructed.

"I suppose I'm no strategist, then..." Katara started to clean up the board as Hoshi came in bearing the afternoon tea.

"How do you feel this afternoon, my lord?" Hoshi asked Iroh as she set the try down.

"Well, enough for a walk. Perhaps you could persuade her ladyship likewise..." He nodded in Katara's direction.

"Oh no, my lord, only Prince Zuko can do that!" Hoshi giggled as she bowed low to her ruler, then to Katara she sent a small wink and then just as quickly as she'd come, she disappeared.

"I swear..." Katara growled taking her seat next to Iron's bed, trying to fight the inevitable blush.

"Come now, Katara, everyone knows about you and my nephew," Iroh sat up and took a sip of the tea.

"Everyone?"

"Everyone within a thousand mile radius," Iroh confirmed with a smile. And no matter how much Katara did not want to smile back, she did so anyway. She took a sip and thought to herself how fond she'd become of Iroh in the past few months. "You don't have to worry about Ursa and myself, we whole-heartedly approve."

"Good to know, except that I will be going home soon. And Zuko will be Fire Lord and no one would approve then."

"Somehow," Iroh looked over at her. "I think you two will find a way. You are opposites, its true, but I have never seen two people who belong together like you and my nephew."

Katara said nothing. He was of the same mind as her, even if she couldn't admit it. If she admitted it, it would make it so much more true and therefore that much harder to leave when the time came.

"Where there's a will, there's a way," Iroh took a sip. "And if you two have anything in common it's your stubborn-ness. I have never seen two people more stubborn in my entire life!"

As if on some unwritten schedule, the door opened and in came Zuko with a sheaf of papers in hand. Over the last few days, this became their daily schedule, Katara would spend her mornings and early afternoons with Iroh; playing Pai Sho or walking with him, often Toph or Ursa or Suki would join them, while Zuko would spend the latter part of the afternoon with him discussing the meetings he'd missed or having papers for Iroh to sign.

"So how many times did you beat her today, Uncle?" He asked.

"Only three," Iroh took the papers and began flipping through them.

"An improvement," Zuko noted with a smirk and he pulled up a chair next to her.

"Very funny," Katara snapped back. "Just you wait, one day I'm going to surprise you and completely destroy you."

"That'll be the day," he rolled his eyes.

"Careful, Nephew," Iroh warned. "Don't get complacent. She has far more patience than you do and just as much determination."

* * *

The days flowed into each other, becoming weeks that Katara marked by Iroh's decline. It was a slow but sure process that filled all their thoughts, but they wouldn't talk about "after". "After" meant that the family they'd built, however odd and strange it was, would dissolve; Toph would return to Ba Sing Se, Aang would head off to who knows where and Sokka and his family would return to the South Pole and in all probability taking Katara with them.

But Katara put it from her mind as she and Zuko slipped out one early spring afternoon. Before they left, however, Sokka insisted that they take Yuuna out for some fresh air. It was a shameless attempt on his part to be sure they always had a chaperone.

"I have to hand it to your brother," Zuko told her as they sat under the still bare cherry tree. "He's good," he nodded in Yuuna's direction as she practiced the stances Katara taught her.

"He's so obnoxious," Katara growled. "He acts like he doesn't trust me!"

"I don't think it's you that he distrusts. Especially after last week..." But his smile was anything but apologetic. Last week, she and Zuko had snuck out of Iroh's room while everyone else had gathered there after dinner. Sokka had gotten suspicious and caught them while they were "Spending some quality time together" as Katara explained it to her brother.

"I don't care what you call it!" Sokka had roared like a crazed platypus-bear. "If I catch you again," Sokka poked Zuko hard in the chest. "I will kill you!"

"True," Katara smiled. "But it was worth it."

"You're not getting the evil eye from Sokka all the time."

"Again, true."

Suddenly, Yuuna looked up and pointed at the nearest gate into the gardens. "Look, it's Hoshi!"

Katara and Zuko both stood as Yuuna took Katara's free hand as Hoshi hurried toward them. "What's wrong? Is it Iroh?"

"No, my lady. Ming sent me to get you. She says there's a man here who says he's from the Southern Tribes. He says he's your father."

"What? Dad?" Katara paled slightly.

"Yes!"

"Grandpa!" Yuuna shrieked, letting go of Katara's hand and running in the direction of the foyer with Hoshi running after her. "Yuuna, come back!"

"So, I'm assuming by the look on your face, that you had no idea that your dad was coming?"

"No, I didn't...did you have something do with this?"

"Are you ever going to trust me?"

"After you inviting Sokka behind my back, no way," she replied as they walked into the foyer and standing there was a tall man cradling Yuuna in his huge hands. "Dad?" Katara breathed and stepped forward.

"Katara?" he set Yuuna down.

Katara didn't answer; she only ran to and leapt into his arms. There was nothing quite like a father's embrace, she thought to herself, that could make you forget all the cares in the world. "It's so good to see you, Dad!"

"Its wonderful to see you," he insisted holding tightly to her. He pulled back for a moment, finally seeing Zuko standing a few feet from them. Katara felt the muscles in her father's arm tighter his back stiffen, she looked up to see the cold glare in her father's eyes.

"Dad," She patted his much larger hand. "You remember Prince Zuko, Fire Lord Iroh's nephew?"

"I did." Hakoda bowed

"It has been a long time, Chief Hakoda," Zuko bowed back. "We are honored by your visit." He turned to Hoshi who had Yuuna in her arms. "Hoshi, please be sure to inform the house-keepers to have a room ready for Chief Hakoda by dinner. In the same wing as Lady Katara and Lord Sokka."

Hoshi bowed and ran to do so.

"So, what are you doing here, Dad?" Katara asked her father.

He produced a letter from his pocket. "Fire Lord Iroh wrote to me, he said he had some things to discuss with me. Perhaps I could be permitted an audience with him today?"

"Only if, K-Lady Katara allows it," Zuko replied.

"I don't see why not," Katara assured her father. "He's been doing very well, lately."

* * *

Later that night, her father was settling into a room of his own Katara was helping him unpack.

Her father sighed and shook his head at her.

"What?" She asked with a smile.

"You look so much like your mother," He cupped her cheeks. "So grown up and so beautiful."

"Thank you, Dad. You should get to bed, I'm sure your exhausted." She stood on her tip-toes to kiss his cheek and started to leave.

"Katara," he held her arm. "Stay a minute, would you? I need to talk to you."

"About what?" She grabbed a seat on the bed and he sat next to her.

"What are you doing here, Katara?"

"What do you mean? I'm here to help Iroh." She shrugged her shoulders. "I'm a Healer, that's what I do."

He sighed and looked down. "I know about you and Prince Zuko...I know you two are involved..."

"Did Sokka tell you? No, don't answer. I know he did! He treats me like a child!"

"Yes, Sokka did tell me, but he did it for your own good."

"Really?" Katara asked sarcastically. "I can't wait to hear his spin on this? Did he tell you that Zuko is a bad influence on me?"

"Katara, have you forgotten what these people did to us? How they took your mother, my wife, away from us? He did that to us!"

"No, he didn't!" Katara shot back. "His father ordered that attack! His father continued this war! His father is the one who killed Mom! Not Zuko!"

"He is his father's son!"

"He is nothing like his father; he's proved that to us, time and time again..."

"Have you forgotten what he put you and your brother and Aang though? He let his sister nearly kill Aang! He chased you all over the world!"

"No, I haven't forgotten, Dad, but it has nothing to do with us now. We've moved past all of it. This is the only way we are ever going to get over this war..."

"I just don't understand how you can be in these people's presence...sit next to them..."

"They're people too, Dad. They live and die just like us. Iroh is dying and...I can't save him. Just like I couldn't save Gran-Gran or Mom..." Katara felt a tear or two spill over her cheek. "And Zuko, he has all this responsibility to deal with and he doesn't confide in anyone but me..."

"Do you love him?" her father asked quietly.

Katara looked up at her father for a moment. "I think I might."

"And does he reciprocate the feeling?"

"I don't know...we haven't talked about it. Everything has been so crazy lately..."

"So, no offers of marriage?"

Katara shook her head.

"Good."

"Good?"

"Nothing. I'm just not ready for my little girl to get married."

"I'm not a little girl anymore, Dad, I'm twenty-one. I'll be twenty-two in a couple of months." She rolled her eyes.

"I know, you're all grown up and I missed it."

"Dad," She whispered, placing one hand on his cheek. "We have all the time in the world to make it up."

"One thing I am grateful for," her father patted her hand. "Iroh's wisdom is rubbing off on you."

"Very funny Dad, goodnight..."

* * *

It was a stroke of luck that Hakoda came when he did, because not a week after he arrived, Iroh caught a fever that he couldn't shake. The days leading up to the Spring Equinox blended into the nights as Katara, Zuko, Toph and Aang took turns sitting up with him.

Katara realized, as the days dragged on, that this is it. The end for Iroh, time had finally caught up with them. What kind of a world was this? She asked herself, where a man as wonderful as Iroh had to suffer like this before he died?

Late one afternoon, the day before the Spring Equinox, Katara dipped a washcloth into a bowl of cool water scented with jasmine and fire-lilies, both plants noted for their calming and healing properties. When it was cool, she picked it up, wrung it out and laid it back on Iroh's burning forehead.

Zuko leaned forward on Iroh's other side. "How is he?"

Katara looked him in the eye and shook her head.

Suddenly, Iroh's eyes opened and saw Zuko first. "Lu Ten?" he rasped.

Zuko shook his head. "No, Uncle...It's Zuko...your nephew. Lu Ten has been gone a long time."

Iroh sighed. "Ah, Zuko...forgive me...The light is playing...tricks on me."

"There is nothing to forgive," Zuko assured Iroh taking one of Iroh's hands in his. Zuko looked up at Katara. "His hands are cold."

"I know..." Katara took the washcloth off, it would do little good now. "Can we get you anything, Iroh?"

He shook his head slowly. "There is no pain now...But...Zuko...When I am gone, promise me..." Katara saw his chest rise and fall far too quickly for this...time was up.

"Anything..." Katara could hear the unshed tears in Zuko's voice and it tore at her heart. She could not stop this; just like she couldn't stop the sun from falling from the sky as it was rapidly doing now.

"Remember...who you are now...that is who you are supposed to be...My son..." And his eyes fell close, his chest stopped rising. Katara put her hand over her mouth to stop the scream that wanted to come out. The Dragon of the West had passed into the Spirit World.

* * *

**_I know you guys are all sad...im sorry, but this had to be done for the puposes of this fic...don't worry the story doesn't end here, i still have two chapters and an epiloge to do...please review...i love them!! much love!!_**


	12. Spring

**_hi there guys!! i had to finish this and send it out. I condensed two chapters into one. i orginally had a different plan for this, but i said frack it!! i want some happy readers...so here it is the last chapter of Atonement. the only thing left is teh epiloge._**

**_1. if you dont like Zutara, don't read it_**

**_2. i own nothing but Hoshi, Yori and Yuuna._**

**_3. read and review...i know you'll love it!!_**

* * *

Atonement: Chapter 12

"_**All I want is you, will you be my bride  
Take me by the hand and stand by my side?  
All I want is you, will you stay with me?  
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea..."**_**_Barry Louis Polisar_**

Katara lay on her bed, fingers and toes curling in the ice blue silk sheets that night after the funeral. She couldn't sleep and so she buried her face in the pillow and let out a huge sigh. Katara had taken off her outer blue kimono and shook her hair loose, so that the dark brown strands curled on her cheek as she lay there in her sleeveless silver kimono. She couldn't stop the images from flowing whenever she closed her eyes. She probably always would. Just like the way she would always remember her mother's funeral and Gran's.

She sat up, unable to lie any longer, drew the sheet around her shoulders and looked around the room. It was the same room she'd moved into almost eight months ago, but at the same time, it wasn't. Before it had been clean and Katara kept most of her things in the dresser or in her bag. Now, she let her things free and let them find their own places. Combs and hair bands lay on the vanity next to the empty bowl of water, her ink pot and quill lay on the desk next to all the letters she'd received since she'd been here. It was _her_ room, it belonged to her.

Katara should have packed. She should have gathered all her wayward belongings and put them away where they belonged, but she didn't. She got up and tiptoed down the hall and through the shadows. As she passed her father's room, she could hear him talking to Sokka.

"...set sail tomorrow," Sokka was saying

"Will it be all right for Yori?"

"Katara said it would be all right. She's a month old."

"It'll break Katara's heart to go."

Katara heard her brother sigh. "What are we going to do with her?"

"I don't know, son."

Katara slipped away from them and kept walking until she found the door she'd been looking for, the one she'd never been through. She leaned against it and knocked very lightly.

"I said no visitors!" Zuko's voice snapped from within.

"Not even me?" She asked quietly.

A few seconds went by before the door opened. Zuko was there, his hair down, dressed as simply as Katara liked. He sighed and opened the door all the way. "I was wondering how long it would be before you came."

Katara only smiled in return and stepped in. She was not surprised to find that his room also opened out onto a balcony. The red silk curtains wafted in the slight wind, revealing a bright full moon. She stepped out, feeling the cool hardwood under her feet, she smiled despite her sadness. She reached back one hand, without looking, and felt him lace his fingers through hers. When she reached the rail, she leaned back against his chest as his arms came around her just as she knew he would be there. She patted his hand. "I know..."

"I can't believe he's gone...really gone..."

"As long as you remember him, he'll never be gone," she murmured. "I wish I could have done something, though...I wish I could have saved him..."

His arms tightened around her. "You did everything you could. It wasn't your fault." He leaned down and murmured softly into her hair. "I don't want you to blame yourself."

She bowed her head. It was a revolutionary concept to her; she had no blame in this. No part of her soul had been blackened by this defeat. While Iroh had been lost...but had he really? Hadn't he known from the start?...Katara rephrased, while Iroh had _departed_, what he'd left behind was something real she could hold onto...Zuko...and he had become far more precious to her than any pendant or memory.

"What are you thinking?" He asked her, running his thumb over her hands and arm.

"I don't want to get on that boat tomorrow," she said softly.

"If it's any consolation, I don't want you to either...but...your father wants a year with you."

"What?"

"Its part of the reason he came, apparently. Iroh wanted to get this all sorted out before he..."

"Oh..."

"But, he did say that you would get to choose at the end of that year."

Katara turned around in his arms. "I've already chosen," she closed her eyes for a moment, gathering her will and courage. "I know that we haven't ever said it...not with everything that's been going on lately...Iroh...and Sokka and my father...but if you're not going to say it, then I will; I love you...I don't know how it happened or when, I just know that I do and I will never be happy with anyone but you."

A small smile grew on his lips as she confessed. When she'd finished, he gazed at her a moment before reaching up to cup her face in his much larger hands. "I've never told anyone this before, but...I love you, too." He admitted quietly. "I think it might have been when we went to that village a few months ago? Do you remember?" She nodded. "When we got there and you almost fell off..." He shrugged. "I don't know...something about the look on your face..."

"I'm sure it was quite lovely." Katara quipped, rolling her eyes.

He grinned. "The loveliest..." he assured her. "But, the way you looked; it was like you didn't expect anyone to save you and you were all right with that."

She shook her head. "You are insane."

He shrugged. "So I've been told."

Katara smiled up at him and then wrapped her arms around him, pressing her ear to his chest to listen to his heart beat steadily. It was good to know that he felt the same way, but at the same time, it would make getting on that ship harder and harder to do. "We're leaving tomorrow," she said out loud, making it more real.

"So soon?"

She nodded. "I belong here with you... I have for a long time."

"I know, but, I think it would be better if we just went along with this, it'll be good for you...to make your dad happy and Sokka and you'll get to be with the girls."

"I'm not going to let him tell what is right and wrong, it's my life and I'm going to decide!"

He smiled at her. "I want you to get on that boat tomorrow."

"Let me stay." It wasn't a question or a request really, it was a statement. "Watch the sun rise with me, then."

"Katara..."

She shook her head. "Please...if I have to be away from you for a whole year...I don't want to waste this time without you."

Zuko groaned and slapped the heel of his hand to his forehead. "If Sokka ever finds out about this, I will be a dead man." He warned as he led her back into the room where she slid into his bed and he climbed in after her. She snuggled against his side as he wrapped one arm around her and closed his eyes. Suddenly, Katara's eyelids felt like they weighed a thousand pounds apiece, but she lay there a moment before she succumbed to sleep. She reached over and brushed a few wayward locks of hair off his face. She leaned over and kissed his forehead, then settled back down and closed her eyes.

* * *

"Katara..." Zuko's voice whispered in her ear. No, she thought. It couldn't be morning yet..."Katara...wake up..." his arms around her tightened and she felt him press a kiss just under her ear and she smiled. "Aha, I knew you were awake!"

Katara opened her eyes to see Zuko lying there next to her. "I was having a good dream..." She poked him in the chest with a smile.

"Look," he pointed toward the balcony, where the curtain was parted. "The sun's coming up."

She rolled onto her stomach, her chin pressed onto one of her hands as she watched the bright rays creep across the balcony, past the curtains and finally onto the foot of the bed. Katara looked back at him. "I have to go. I have to go and pack."

"Oh..." his hold on her waist slackened.

She got up. "Don't come..."

"What?"

"Don't come to say goodbye. If you come, I wouldn't get on that ship like you want me to." She started for the balcony and stopped at the rail. She turned as she heard him come up behind her. Feeling brave or incredibly stupid, she stood up on her tip-toes she kissed him as fiercely as she could, nearly knocking him back through the curtain. After he'd gotten over the shock of her boldness, he reached out to draw her closer but Katara had already pulled the water from the pond and was sailing away on it.

Katara turned away from him and landed softly on her own balcony. She closed the curtain behind her and collapsed onto the floor, letting the tears come as they would. Almost blindly, she yanked off her kimono and threw it on the ground. She stood there a moment in only her underclothes, shivering slightly in the cool morning air. Balling her fists, she swallowed hard and regained control. She swiped her eyes brusquely with the backs of her hands and began looking for her most comfortable traveling clothes.

As she was pulling the fabric over her head, she heard Hoshi come in and set a new bowl of water on the vanity as usual. Katara stepped out from behind the changing screen and into Hoshi's distraught face. "Are you all right my lady? You don't look well."

"I'm fine," Katara assured the girl and began to splash the warm water on her face, trying to bring down the swelling from her crying.

"I've been instructed by my lady Ursa to help you pack. She said you, Lord Sokka, Lady Suki, the girls and your father will be going home today...is it true?"

Katara nodded. "Yes." She started taking things out of the dresser and putting them in her leather traveling bag.

"But, my lady, what about...Prince Zuko?"

"He wants me to go."

Hoshi shook her head. "No...Why would he? You and him..."

"Will see each other in a year or so...whenever my father deems me acceptable to marry..." Katara threw a dress into the bag, feeling the tears trying to start again. This time, however she held them back. She stood and wrapped her arms around Hoshi. "You've been a good friend to me; take care of yourself...and Zuko...while I'm gone."

"Of course, my lady..." Hoshi hugged her back. "May I write to you, while you're away?"

Katara smiled at her friend and kissed the girl's forehead. "You don't even need to ask, my friend."

"Yes, my lad-Katara." Hoshi blushed a little and went on packing.

About a half an hour later, there was a knock on the door and Ursa was there. "It's time to go, my dear. You're father's waiting down in the foyer with your brother and the girls."

Katara nodded and followed Ursa out, giving Hoshi one last smile. As they walked in silence, Katara took note of the dark wood floors, the long hallways, the smell of the floor polish that smelled of honey and beeswax. This was the place she now called home. She took a deep breath as they reached the foyer where Hakoda stood waiting.

She turned to Ursa and threw her arms around her. Ursa hugged her back just as fiercely and it was the first time in a long time that Katara could be remember being hugged by a mother. She'd been robbed of a mother all those years ago and no one had ever come close to filling the void, until now. "We will all miss you, my dearest girl," Ursa whispered. "And we will be counting down the days until you return..."

Katara pulled away but didn't trust herself to speak so she only nodded.

Ursa turned to Hakoda. "You should be proud of your daughter; she is a credit to you. She has been a pillar of strength and peace here. And I cannot wait to call her my daughter as well."

Hakoda bowed to Ursa. "Don't worry, Lady, I am well aware of how special my daughter is. I am glad that you have come to love her as much as I do."

Katara followed her father out to where the carriage was waiting for them, their baggage already loaded on the back of the carriage. As they piled in with Suki and Sokka and the girls, who were fast asleep still, Katara half-turned in her seat to watch her last view of the palace disappear into the distance. Katara slumped down in her seat and started playing with the curtains covering the window.

"Katara-" Her father began.

As Katara opened her mouth to interrupt him, Sokka beat her to the punch. "Dad," he said quietly. "Don't..."

Hakoda glared at his son. "Sokka, he didn't even come to say goodbye-"

"That's because I told him not to!" Katara snapped. "He told me that I had to get on that boat and so I told him that if he came to say good-bye there was no way in this world or the next that I would leave him! I did this for him, not for you!"

Sokka took out an envelope and handed it to Katara, his smile sad and knowing. "Zuko wanted me to give you this."

Katara took it and slid it open. A long piece of bright crimson ribbon tumbled out, along with a small handwritten note that fit in the palm of her hand.

_Something to hang your mother's pendant on, just so you don't forget me._

There was no name. She smiled to herself, the ribbon and note blurring before her slowly misting eyes. No one spoke in the little carriage the rest of the trip.

Only a few minutes later, Katara could smell the salt on the wind and the cry of cat-gulls as they wheeled about in the air, looking for an easy meal. When they 'd reached the docks, they all disembarked and started toward the ship as Katara slipped around the back of the carriage to dig her mother's pendant out. When she'd found it, she ran the ribbon through the loop and held it in her hand, looking at it.

Her father found her standing there. "Katara..."

She looked up at him, tears dripping down her cheeks in glistening rivers. "Dad..." She made no effort to hide her hurt. What would be the point now? "How can I leave him when he needs me?"

Hakoda pressed his fist to his chin.

Katara stepped up closer, her hands clutching his. "Dad...didn't you feel this way once? With Mom?"

He closed his eyes briefly.

"He wants me to go with you, play by your rules. But I can't, Dad. I can't."

"You are my only daughter..." he whispered huskily, Katara could hear the tears just below the surface. "And I have missed you so much, but..." he smiled. "I look at you and I see your mother and your grandmother and I know that what you are doing is right." He hugged her tightly. "Go, go to him." He pulled back and kissed her forehead.

"Thank you, Dad!" Katara grinned and went to go say goodbye to Sokka and Suki and the girls, who were now awake. She kissed them all goodbye, promising to write and took off running in the direction of the palace.

As she ran, with the sun following after her, she knew there were so many questions in this world. So many uncertainties in this life that they're couldn't be answers to them all. As she passed through the palace entrance, past a confused Ursa and Hoshi and through the nearest gate to the gardens, she decided that somethings you had to deem right for yourself and for no one else.

The cherry trees had chosen that day to blossom, and the entire garden lay awash in sunlight and the bright pink blossoms that floated to the ground like snow. Smiling to herself, Katara ran toward the figure seated under the cherry tree.

When Zuko saw her, he stood, confused. "Katara, what-?"

She leapt up into his arms. "My father is letting me stay. I couldn't get on the ship."

Zuko only tightened his arms around her, burying his face in the crook of her neck. Katara smiled. She'd finally come home.

**_I was originally going to have Katara go with her Dad, and narrate the year by switching POVs between Zuko and Katara, but i couldn't do that to you guys, besides i liked this better...don't forget i have an _****_epilogue _****_which i want to have up within the next week, before finals. After finals i'll probably start planning the sequel "FireFly"!! so stick around!!_**


	13. After

**_Hey i couldn't help but hurry up and put out the epilogue for you guys. I just wanted to take the time to tell you all how much i have enjoyed writing this story, because it was something new for me and also all the encouraging reviews from all of you... you guys have been the driving force behind this story and i hope you all will love the sequeal to "Atonement" which should be up in about four weeks or so, when all the craziness of finals winds down._**

**_so be on the look out for "Firefly"_**

**_1. i own nothing, except the zutaraness_**

**_2.reviews are always loved and appreciated_**

**_3. you guys are the best and i hope you all come back to read more of my stuff...i have a feeling you'll love it._**

* * *

Atonement: Epilogue

"_**What the caterpillar calls the end, the rest of the world calls a butterfly"**__** Lao-Tzu**_

Her name is Firefly, this little girl, my little girl. And at the moment she is trying to catch her namesake. Her long black hair swings about as she runs and jumps all over the garden, but her eyes watching, waiting for one to fly close enough for her to catch.

She has been Firefly ever since the day she was born, some three years, seven months and twelve days previous. I remember holding her up for the first time and her tiny hand reached out and touched my cheek. It was like a firefly landing there, delicate and warm. From that moment on, she has been mine and I've been hers.

She has her mother's eyes, my beautiful Firefly, but not Katara's coloring or patience or serenity. The only things she has inherited from her mother are her bright blue eyes and adventurous spirit. Firefly doesn't sit or wait, she is always chasing after her two older brothers. She can't stand to be left behind.

But right now, her brothers are calm. Our oldest, Iroh is sitting with Katara, pointing out constellations. Every so often he will turn to her and ask her something. And she will smile and kiss his forehead. They are two peas in a pod: my wife and eldest son. At eight, Iroh is well on his way to becoming a master fire bender, he is a good listener and has Katara's patience. He watches and learns, my little shadow. He is well aware of his responsibilities and watches out for his younger sister in a way that I never did for mine. They may fight and squabble, but I can see the potential for a true friendship.

Roku, the little middle child at five, sleeps with his head on his mother's lap. She strokes his dark hair with one hand and points with the other. Roku is as smart as they come and when he isn't asleep, he is all questions, all the time. He burns through scrolls like wildfire and while his constant questioning may wax a trifle vexing at times, the wisdom he gleans from his questioning is truly astounding.

But my daughter will have none of this sitting still or sleeping. She totters off toward the pond chasing the fireflies all the while. Iroh gets up to make sure his little sister doesn't fall in and I take his place next to Katara. She smiles up at me and I realize it's probably the ten thousandth time I've lost my heart to her since that day in Ba Sing Se.

I know I told her that I fell in love with her when she came to try to save my uncle, but in truth, my heart belonged to her ever since she offered to heal my scar. I think I will always remember the look on her face; her huge blue eyes that could see right through me, the small half smile, the tilt of her head, the long dark hair shining in the glow of the crystals. No matter how old we become that is how I will always see her.

Katara leans her head against my shoulder and I wrap one arm around her. Roku doesn't move at all, he sleeps on unaware of the rest of the world.

"Get it!" Iroh shouts to his sister. "Get it, Kana!" Kana, who is named for the great-grandmother she will never know, smiles broadly and lets out a laugh as she and Iroh dance around caught up in their game.

"You know," Katara says softly to me. "I could get used to this."

"I think we ought to keep it like this for a while…" I agree just as quietly as not to disturb our sleeping son.

She gazes up at me and I can see the full moon reflected in her eyes. She is my world. She has been forever and I could not imagine a life without her. "What are you thinking right now?" She asks, as she always does.

I would say if I could…but "There aren't any words," I say with a smile.

"I know the feeling." She replies as Iroh and Kana come running back.

"Look!" my Firefly cries as she opens her palms and there in her hands is a tiny flickering firefly. A wide smile lights up Kana's small elegant face. She will be so beautiful one day.

Kana's hands remain open for just a split second too long and the firefly rises up and out. She stares up at the slowly darkening skies, her lower lip trembling. "It got away…" she murmurs gloomily.

"It's okay, Kana…" Iroh tells her with a smile, but Firefly will not be persuaded. She crosses her arms over her chest and scowls.

Katara laughs out loud. "By all the spirits, she looks just like you!" She tells me and even I have to admit, with her pale skin, dark hair and similar facial traits, it's like looking in a tiny mirror

I reach out and pull her into my arms. "There will be other fireflies," I tell her and kiss her temple. And for a moment, Firefly leans back against me. I can feel her take slow but deep little breaths; she's falling to sleep now that she's sitting still.

Iroh lets out a yawn as well. Katara looks to all three children who are slowly falling asleep before our eyes. She scoops Roku up and takes Iroh by the hand. "I think it's time for bed," She says quietly. I look down to see Kana fast asleep, her long dark eyelashes resting against her pale pillow cheeks. I stand, cradling my daughter against me and taking Iroh's waiting hand; we walk through the slowly darkening night toward home and bed.

* * *

**_So guys...this is it...the end...I would give you all hugs if i knew where you lived, and your own personal bar of toblerone chocolate...put me on the story alert and you'll know when "Firefly" is up..._**

**_so much love and respect..._**

**_T.R.P.D_**


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